Young gamer with headset. Photo by Alex Haney on Unsplash.

RPG Season 2 Quest 7

By Nicholas Lam

The seventh quest in the second season of the Interactive Knightmare RPG. The team is Daniel and Stuart.

Session 10 - 12 November 2000

Treguard Enter Stranger!

Image of Treguard for the Knightmare RPG

Treguard Ah, hello there, Please state your name and age please.

Daniel Daniel 15

Treguard And where do you hail from?

Daniel Barnsley

Treguard I wouldn't like to go there, but then again, who would?

Treguard And you go into the dungeon unaided? You must have friends. Please call their names now and loudly!


Sidriss Hello

Treguard You all look terribly cold. Here, come closer to the fire where it's much warmer. Er, what are your names and where do you all come from?

Stuart Stuart 18

Treguard Ok then; let's get to grips with this adventure then. I expect that you've already read the rules and regulations of the dungeon provided on the Knightmare website.?

Treguard If so, then you won't need a reminder

Treguard Have you read the rules and regulations?

Daniel yes

Treguard Well then, face the dungeon door and take a brave step into the unknown. Good luck!

Treguard Daniel and Stuart go on, but Treguard holds Sidriss back

A hall of choice for the Knightmare RPG

Treguard You enter a plain room with four exits. Each exit has a narrow path leading up to it. In between each path is a sharp drop. Above each door is a symbol, each one being different.

Treguard Yes, team. This is the hall of choice. Here you must choose an object which you are to redeem in your quest. Will it be the cup that heals (which some call the chalice), the sword of freedom, the shield of justice or the crown in glory?

Treguard Go through any of the doors and you will choose that quest, stay where you are on the question mark, and your choice will be determined. Also, by staying on the question mark, you could be assigned a quest not available to you by choice.

Treguard For example, freeing someone, etc.

Treguard It's your choice team but choose quickly and wisely. May I suggest you choose the one that best suits you.

Daniel the shield?

Stuart yeah... the shield

Treguard Daniel = ACTION CALLER. Stuart = SPELL CASTER

Treguard you enter the door with the shield above it

A clearing with a spyglass in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Daniel Where are we?

Daniel Pickup spyglass

Treguard Ah. I see that the setting of Level 1 has been changed yet again. This isn't the work of the Unholy one, team. It is a natural occurring process in the dungeon.

Treguard Every so often, even within a phase shift the dungeon makes slight alterations to itself. I suppose you could even say that it has a mind of its own! Anyway. Onward team.

Treguard You pick it up

Daniel Look through spyglass

A spyglass sequence in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

"Well done Necromancer. Again, a very easy catch, you will be well rewarded."

"Thank You Master. I aim to please. But in all honesty, the pleasure was all mine, and I mean that literally."

A spyglass sequence in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

"Yes, well, we don't really want to know about your reputation or your filthy habits. Anyway, I want you to go and see my mum in Level 1 because she isn't too well apparently.

I can't go and see the old bat as I've got to make sure all the inhabitants of this dungeon remain in fear. Anyway, the product of red and blue is the key to your survival if the time comes.

Also, you may need to find some magic. There's a bomb in one of my torture chambers, and you'll need to find a way to stop it from going off."

"I see."

"I hope so. Oh my, what is this? I do believe that it is a little dungeoneer. What a surprise. Well little dungeoneer, keep on looking, because good old Necro here is coming after you. Well, go on then!"

"Come here little Carnal Delight!!!!"

Daniel Drop spyglass

Stuart drop it...

Treguard you drop it

Treguard Hmm, a useful bit of eavesdropping team

Treguard now what?

Daniel exit

Treguard you exit

A clue room in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Daniel Look at items on table

Treguard You enter a small courtyard with two exits on the left-hand wall, and a table just in front of you with some objects on it. Behind the table on the wall is a wall monster.

Treguard "Another puny thing enters my lair. Listen little thing. I will ask 3 questions. If you score 0 questions correctly, I will dispose of you very quickly.

Treguard Score 1 and you may take any objects you wish. Score 2 and you will receive information about one of the objects on the table. Score 3 and you will receive all information."

Treguard "Team. If you score 3 then after he has given you the information, call out "I command you" to receive your bonus."

Treguard "Are you ready?

Daniel yes

Stuart yes

Treguard Good. Here is my first

Treguard Silver or Lacquered this brass instrument comes, But tell me, which is the biggest of the brass instruments?

Treguard Oooh, a toughy that one!

Treguard An ANSWER!

Daniel Tuba?


Treguard Here is my second

Treguard As Au is made from straw,

Treguard A kingdom rules over all,

Treguard Which character can make Au from Straw?

Daniel Rumpelstiltskin?


Treguard Here is my third

Treguard Payment is what I need. But I need your thoughts. What do I pay?

Treguard AN ANSWER

Treguard NAME IT NOW!

Daniel Answers?


Treguard A Penny was the answer I sought

Treguard Hmmm. An average score. Two is the score. You may learn more.

Treguard One lump or two?

Treguard Leave me in peace. I sleep now and shall not return. The monster falls asleep

Daniel Look at items on table

Treguard you look on the able

Treguard table

Daniel what are the items?

Treguard Well, Food first I think team

Daniel Eat bread

Treguard You eat the bread

Treguard and you can take two objects

Daniel what do you think stuart?

Stuart small dagger, bar of gold, and a mallet...

Daniel i think mallet and the gold?

Stuart yeah

Daniel pickup Mallet and Bar of Gold

Stuart the mallet and the gold...

Treguard You take the mallet and the gold

Daniel exit

Treguard you exit

A shop in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a very small shop. On the shelves are some vases and other ornaments and trinkets, hanging above them are two dead rabbits. While on your left is an exit and standing just in front of it is a man.

Daniel Talk to man

Treguard you go up to him and start to talk.

A tradesman in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard "Oh hello there young sir. I have everything that a traveller needs. On offer for just one bar of gold today just for you, because I can see that you're a man of business.

Treguard Well, I've got four spells that I think you'll find a bargain.

Treguard Now, I call that a selection. So, would you like one of those then? I don't think you'll be able to afford much else, these rabbits are tasty but are just out of your price range."

Treguard well Sir, what is it to be then?

Daniel the Diffuse spell please

Treguard "There you go. Now, use that spell carefully, and don't use it anywhere near me, just in case something happens. Erm, well it won't anyway,

Treguard because that's top merchandise and is a 1st class Magician Product, straight from Merlin's "Couldn't give an arse" shop. Isn't that interesting?

Treguard "Well thanks for doing business. Have a nice day"

Daniel exit

Treguard you exit

Treguard allo wabbit!

A colour code to the doors in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a small room with three exits. Hmm. Well, I'd say that you're about halfway through this Level, team. Whatever nasty tricks lie in this level must be somewhere further along the path, but not too much further.

Stuart red and blue make purple?

Stuart that's what he said to the necromancer... red and blue... key to survival

Daniel exit through the door with purple above it

Treguard you exit that door

Pressure pads control the exits in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard Hmm this is very strange. There are three exits at the back each with something over them. In front of the exits though are a strange contraption with a pressure pad.

Treguard There are three pressure pads just in front of you.

Daniel what do you think stuart?

Stuart we don't want to go to level 3...

Stuart we'll miss clues, etc.

Daniel i agree

Stuart what're the other two then?

Daniel one has green and the other is blank

Treguard I cannot help

Daniel green or blank?

Daniel i think the blank one?

Stuart yeah

Daniel exit through the blank door

Treguard you hear footsteps in the distance behind you

Treguard How are you going to exit?

Treguard The contraption blocks your path

Daniel step on center pressure pad

Treguard you step on the pressure pad, but it moves down only slightly

Daniel use mallet on pressure pad

Treguard You swing the mallet and thump it down....

The pressure pad is released in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You hit the pressure pad and the arm swings away from the exit. You can now go through.

Daniel exit through the blank door

Treguard you exit

Treguard nice one

A bomb room in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a room with no exits and a very large bomb on the left wall. ARGH! Hurry team do something., you have but seconds!

Daniel cast the spell stuart

Stuart Spell casting: DIFFUSE.

A diffused bomb in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You cast the spell. Phew, that was close, I shouldn't linger though. I'm sure that someone or something will be back to set the timer for it again. An exit appears in the back wall.

Daniel exit

Treguard you exit

A causeway of letters in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a causeway. What you must do here team. Is try and get across the causeway by spelling out a word which is printed going from start to finish. Hurry!

Daniel any ideas Stuart?

Stuart er, relites?

Treguard CORRECT

Treguard if a little spelt wrong

Treguard :)

Treguard REALITIES was the answer


Treguard I should hurry out team

Treguard time out approaching

A monster's mouth is the route to Level 2 in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard Well Done team. You made it to the end of Level 1. Now the only way is trying to figure how to get down to it. There is a snake's mouth in front of you.

Treguard LIFE FORCE CRITICAL! Quick find a way to Level 2 and get some food fast!


Daniel stuart now what?


Stuart Exit through Snakes mouth

An hourglass image for the Knightmare RPG

Treguard time out

Treguard Damn. I hate it when time out occurs, and the action is just hotting up. I suppose it's just unfortunate that we'll have to wait another week to find out where our current team will survive and conquer the dungeon or meet perhaps a sticky or nasty end.

Treguard I'm quite comfortable just to wait a while, but I know you just hate waiting. Don't you?

Credits in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Session 11 - 19 November 2000

Treguard: Dragon's breath! Well you're early. Or is it me that's late? I suppose it doesn't matter since you're here. I'd come closer to the fire if I was you, the dungeon is especially cold in these later stages of the dungeon transformation. There isn't much time left.

Treguard In about 5 sessions the path will close again to allow the dungeon to transform itself for the next phase. Anyway, there is still enough time for at least three teams, so let's get the current team to continue their quest.

Image of Treguard for the Knightmare RPG

Treguard Oh by the way, just in case you forgot, and if you have, then I'm most upset; here's a brief reminder.


A table in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard Ah welcome to Level 2 team. I see that you've made it. If you thought that the dungeon was tough, think again, it's going to get much tougher from here on.

Treguard You appear to be in a grey stone room with two exits. In front on you on the floor are two objects. A Tomato, and a scroll.

Daniel Eat tomato

Treguard You eat the tomato

Treguard and your life force is restored

Daniel Look at scroll

Treguard You pick up the scroll and read it

Treguard You open the scroll. You start to read the scroll and find that most of the articles on it aren't interesting at all. One article at the bottom of the page catches your eye.

Treguard It says:

A long scroll in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard "News Flash! The unholy king is up to his old tricks again. This week he's planning on helping people in the Level 2 clue rooms. On another note, goblin patrols have been increased in all levels. This writer wears Forester boxers, for a more comforting feel.

Treguard Don't wear NKTP undies, wear Forester boxers, they're sure to give that bit of extra space"

Treguard Did you get all that?

Daniel Put scroll down

Treguard you put down the scroll

Treguard Hmm, very strange indeed team. Well, I hope that you can make some sense out of this.

Treguard team?

Daniel Exit through door on right

Treguard you exit

A Level 2 clue room in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You emerge on an icy mountain. There are two exits in the room. There is also a table in front of you and a man to the right of it.

Daniel Talk to man

Treguard "Hello. Dungeoneer. I am here to help you choose which objects to take. Listen carefully though, for I'll only give advice about ONE of the objects you take and not the other, that is up to you. Here is your well-earned information.

Treguard I hope it helps you on your quest. Hey, you never know, you might get to Level 3. Listen.

Treguard "Something sharp will do."

Treguard There you go. Goodbye!"

Treguard The wizard then steps back and watches you as you look at the table.

Daniel What's on the table?

Treguard Please feel free to confer with Stuart

Daniel What about the knife and the Fly bottle?

Daniel or the book?

Treguard time left in this room: 3 minutes

Treguard Daniel:- please continue

Daniel Pick up knife and "Fly" bottle

Treguard you pick up those objects

Treguard HAHAHAH!!!!! ooh

Daniel Exit

Treguard you exit

A green room with a spyglass in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a plain room with green floors and walls. There are two exits on the far wall while there is also a spyglass in front of you. This room is very strange indeed team.

Treguard I remember it. It's very similar to the rooms created by the strange mystic traveller known as David Rowe, although this room is clearly different to his. Anyway, something useful here, I think.

Daniel Use spyglass

Treguard You pick up the spyglass...

A spyglass sequence in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

"Are you sure you've the army assembled for the final showdown? I don't want anything to go wrong. You remember what happened to Lord Fear; my predecessor, he was deafened by that massive bell of his in Linghorn, or MarbleHead, whatever one it was.

Anyway, because he became deaf, he was deemed unfit to lead the opposition and so he was sent the troll pens as a cuddly toy for them, and naturally Sylvester Hands was made ruler.

That soon changed since he only managed to have a once every month, and that was an improvement!"

A spyglass sequence in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

"Yes of course master. The army has been assembled."

"How many troops are there?"

"Well, there are currently 300 male and 320 females and yes, 67 spare limbs just in case they run out."

"Yes, zombies do tend to lose a few don't they."

"Should I order them to leave now?"

"No. That would be foolish. We'll wait until the last minute, then we'll release them throughout all of the Levels."

"What about Treguard and his dungeoneers?"

"At the moment, I'm still keeping an eye on them. Don't worry, if they do decide to enter Level 3, they'll meet the causeway, then me! We'll discuss this issue later. But first…oh, my! What is this I see before me?"

"Macbeth Act II Scene I?"

"No, you blistering idiot, there's someone spying on us. Go get them Blade!"

"Yes master."


Daniel Drop spyglass

Treguard you drop it

Treguard interesting team

Treguard Right

Treguard well

Daniel Exit through the right-hand door

Treguard you exit

A room with an egg feature in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a small area with two egg shaped objects hovering above the ground. Ahead of you is an exit.

Treguard HAHAHA!! I found you at last. My god, it took me several days of hunting, but I found you. Well, puny thing, you have about a minute to grovel or beg before I eat you. But first, I need time to prepare my three stomachs for the glorious meal for which you are about to provide. I thank you for that.

A goblin stands on guard in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Daniel Who is that guy?

Treguard I don't have a name

Treguard You have 55 seconds left

Daniel Stuart what do you think?

Stuart errr... he wants to eat us, right?

Treguard 40

Treguard 30

Daniel Use the knife or potion?

Treguard Team, something!

Stuart knife?

Treguard 15

Treguard 10

Daniel Is he wearing armor?

Treguard Of course I Am!

Daniel Drink potion

Stuart use the potion...

Treguard You use the potion

A goblin is outwitted in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You start to hover around in the air

Treguard and fly over the goblin and through the exit

A bomb room with a clue to disarm it in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a room with a bomb. There are no exits. Quick team! You must re-arrange the letters to form a word. Hurry, 45 seconds remain! The letters are: NTVDAAGAE

Treguard 45 seconds left starting from...


Treguard CORRECT

A bomb room with a clue to disarm it in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You choose the correct word, and the bomb fuse stops. Two exits appear at the back. Well done team, but I shouldn't linger around, as the bomb might reset itself within seconds!

Daniel Exit through right door

Treguard You exit

Treguard This is the main obstacle in Level 2, and is known as the dreaded eliminator. We've already lost two teams here. What you must do is look at the screen that appears.

Treguard You are given a situation. For example, -2 and +2. Then you go on to the first stage where you a given a question. MONDAY and JULY. Firstly you must -2 on the Monday which will become Saturday, and then +2 on the JULY, which then becomes SEPTEMBER

Treguard A different situation is given for each of the 4 questions. If you don't get all of these correct, the eliminator will swat you with a 20-Megawatt Fireball! I'm sure you understand all that perfectly eh?

Treguard And the best part is that you have 45 seconds per question! Go!

The dreaded eliminator puzzle in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Stuart Daniel: Tuesday?

Treguard +2 -1

Treguard Sunday 00:00

Stuart Daniel:23:00?

Daniel My mirrors on the blink

Stuart he gave us the question...

Stuart sunday +2...

Stuart 00:00 -1

Treguard 30

Treguard 25

Stuart Tuesday, 23:00

Daniel Tuesday 23:00

Treguard CORRECT

The dreaded eliminator puzzle in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard -3 +4

Treguard January Thursday

Stuart Daniel: October? Monday?

Treguard 15

Daniel March Wednesday October

Stuart October, Monday.

Treguard CORRECT

Stuart phew.... :)

The dreaded eliminator puzzle in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard -2 +1 -5

Treguard April 23:00 R

Treguard 45 secs

Stuart Daniel: February?

Stuart Daniel: 0:00

Daniel November Tuesday F

Stuart Daniel: M?

Treguard 10

Stuart nononono

Treguard Who's the action caller again?

Treguard TIME OUT!

Treguard YOU DIE!

Image of the skull dead sequence for the Knightmare RPG

Stuart Feb, 00:00 M.

Daniel November Tuesday F

Stuart damn... I was lagged then :(

Daniel I answered before

Stuart crappy ISP :(

Treguard Stuart was correct

Treguard February

Treguard 00:00

Treguard M

Treguard Ooooh Nasty! You chose the wrong answer team. The eliminator is hard, I know, but surely there's more than one team that can get past it. Spell Casting DISMISS.

Daniel My mirror gave me the wrong screen but never mind

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