Our readers give their top ten reasons when you know you're obsessed with Knightmare.
- When you are told that for dinner it is your favourite meal and you say 'Lovely' in your best Skarkill impersonation
- When you play chess and your opponent loses and you say 'BONG!'
- When you walk onto your paved garden patio and, pretending it is a floor puzzle, you cross the patio by sidestepping and stepping on only one tile each time.
- When you play a board game involving being timed by an eggtimer (hourglass) and when the last of the sand trickles down, you say 'time up'.
- When you call for a friend and you say their name quickly three times even though she/he heard you straightway.
- When you go down a long corridor and move left and right as though you are dodging blades.
- When you convincingly win a game and you smugly boast 'I enjoy gloating, comes naturally'.
- When you are peckish and you chant out 'I hunger!'
- When a friend comes in and you cry 'Quail intruder!'
- When you are in hurry, and you spellcast a 'Speed' spell.
"If you have any of these symptoms, you are suffering from Knightmaritis."
- When you invite someone round to dinner and insist they answer a riddle correctly before letting them eat anything.
- When you've got a sore throat and you try to cast a CURE spell to get better.
- When you're accused of lying and answer "I can't believe I said that, what a fibber I am!"
- When you start describing in close detail the contents of the room to someone who can see it perfectly clearly for themselves.
- When you respond to someone else's virulent illness with the words "A danger to life force present".
- When you and your family get in the car and you cry "Brace yourselves! The end of the tunnel's up ahead and the car just won't sto-o-o-o-o-opppp!!!!"
- When you get lost on a day out and you tell someone in your party to hold up the Eye Shield.
- When you put an upturned mixing bowl on your head to block your view and demand your girlfriend give you directions out of the room.
- When you watch a bad news report on TV and you say "Oooooh nasty".
- When you catch yourself coming to a full stop on the street corner and then sidestepping down the adjoining street.