Parody of Spice Up Your Life by the Spice Girls

[Drassil]

Based on Spice Up Your Life by the Spice Girls (1997). Original lyrics; official video

When you're feeling sad and glum
It will take you out of Level 1
Find the short cut into Level 3
Just don't bleed from circularity

Cutters in a row (Slice up your life)
Some are high and some are low (Slice up your life)
Careful how you go (Slice up your life)

Slam it to the left (if the blade's on the right wall)
Step it to the right (and a crouch if you're quite tall)
Corridor of Blades (they, they)
Go round
Slam it to the left (if the blade's on the right wall)
Step it to the right (and a crouch if you're quite tall)
Corridor of Blades
Series 4-8

Alistair, his team must rue
That they were the first ones to
Meet the threat that none had seen
Spinning blades: their quest in smithereens

[Chorus]

Simon had Gundrada
Daniel had it harder
With Giles, Barry, Dickon
Their ends were not quickened
Sarah Sarah Sarah: hacked up
Dunca-Dunca-Duncan: hacked up
Sophia!

[Chorus]

[Canadanne]

This works brilliantly. The chorus made me do a proper LOL.
(I would love to hear Martin H record this one for the podcast!)