The first is Based upon 'Sometimes' by Erasure. Official audio
It's not the way you send them with the Helm into the Dungeon
It's not the way you don't wear silly hats like Nemanor
Been thinking about you, I just couldn't wait to see
Watching you on Knightmare as you bring those words to me
Ooh nasty
A death is turned into a source of glee, yeah
Ooh nasty
You're the best DM on TV
It's not the way that you impress me, brighten up my Fridays
It's not my sense of emptiness you fill with your log fire
Stand by the advisors, and forget about Tim Child
Taunt them, you will haunt them with the words that drive us wild:
Ooh nasty
A death is turned into a source of glee, yeah
Ooh nasty
You're the best DM on TV...
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The second is based on a well known anti-Vietnam War song with artificial stuttering, i.e. Nineteen by Paul Hardcastle. Official audio
"In 1987, Knightmare seemed like just another TV show.
But it wasn't.
It was different in many ways, and so were those that did the questing.
In World War II the average death of the combat soldier was tragic.
In Knightmare it was nasty.
In-in-in-in-in-in-in Knightmare it was nasty..."
N-n-n-n-nasty
"The walking and sidestepping of the past five years continued today
25 miles south west of Dunshelm"
"I wasn't really sure where I was"
N-n-n-n-nasty, nasty, n-nasty, nasty
Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty
"In Knightmare the dungeoneer typically served a thirty minute tour of duty
But was exposed to hostile danger in almost every room..."
N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nasty n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nasty
N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-Knightmare n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-Knightmare
"In Dunshelm a Saxon Powers That Be spokesman said today more than 4 adventurers
Were killed last year in that sensitive border area.
Throughout all of the Dungeon the PTB lost a total of 160 soldiers..."
All those who remember Knightmare
They don't forget what they see
Dismissal of kids in their prime
Whose average death was nasty
Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-dismissal
D-d-d-d-d-d-d-Dunswater
"According to a Veterans Administration study,
Half of the Knightmare TV veterans suffer from what psychiatrists call
Post Traumatic Quest Disorder.
Many vets complain of alienation, rage or guilt.
Some succumb to Yuletide thoughts.
Eighteen to eleven years after coming home, almost two hundred people
Are still playing the Knightmare game..."
"Few of them received a hero's welcome..."