Parody of The Subway by Chappell Roan

[Drassil]

After Grimwold the ogre bit one of Festus's heads off, the head became (what else?) a skull haunting. It then had a failed relationship with another skull haunting — and sang this song to the tune of The Subway by Chappell Roan (released in 2025). Official video, original lyrics

I saw your green glow
Mandible next to your mouth
There at the wellway
I nearly had a breakdown
Half a phase later
Saw you in the Mills of Doom
And it so chilled me
I had to leave the room

I wish the only way, it wasn't onward
When's it onward, it's never onward
It's such a lonely way, this moving onward
Moving onward, I've not moved onward
'Til I don't look for you in the bare caves
Or wish you thought that we were still ghoulmates
But I'm still coldly floating through this phase
'Til you're just another skull at the wellway

Ate Grimwold's dinner
He went and bit my head off
I see my stump and
My other heads and Mrs. G scoff
I made a promise
If in four quests my mood's further south
Well, damn this dungeon
I'm going through the serpent's mouth

I wish the only way, it wasn't onward
When's it onward, it's never onward
It's such a lonely way, this moving onward
Moving onward, I've not moved onward
'Til I can steal the scene during gameplay
And have a good refresh rate each Friday
But I'm still coldly floating through this phase
'Til you're just another skull at the wellway

You've lit, you've lit the way
You've lit the way, you've lit the way
And you flit, you flit away
You flit away, you flit away...