They would never say...

For all the comedians out there.
TuragaNuju
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Re:They would never say...

Post by TuragaNuju »

I thin I need a doctor too after that one.

Treguard probably wouldnt shout MONKEY! at the Dungeoneer every time they took a step
Treguard: "Ooh.. nasty. Still, We Can Have A Toilet Break Now - I'm Bursting!"
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Re:They would never say...

Post by MoanaLiza »

"Get a life" after dungeoneer succums to death.
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Re:They would never say...

Post by Becxsmagic »

Lord Fear would not came to the antechamber singing Rainbow's "I surrender"

Nor would he say "My car's broken down. Can I use your phone and where's the bathroom?"
Last edited by Becxsmagic on 12 Dec 2005, 18:41, edited 1 time in total.
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darkDescender
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Re:They would never say...

Post by darkDescender »

I was just looking through some of the older pages of this thread, and I just realized, no-one got zzt's 'barrel roll' reference back on page 24! It's lylat Wars, isn't it? It is, isn't it?
"Welcome to one of Mogdred's little playpens, dungeoneer. Play awhile...Play forever! Mwahahahahaha! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!"
keeds
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Re:They would never say...

Post by keeds »

From the early series-
Treguard-"I assume you have some previous experience of quests?"

Dungeoneer- "Yes, I do."

Treguard-"I don't believe you. In these PC days when kids are not even allowed to play conkers at school, I fail to believe you have expereince of tackling catacombites, drunken knights and mystic floating bombs, now get out of my sight for lying!"

In Lilith's chamber-
Lilith"What do you bring me to pass?"

Dungeoneer-"You live in a rocky cave with no furniture, I fail to belive your standard of living will be improved by a ruby or silken glove"

On encountering Mogdred (RIP John)
Mogdred-"Look upon Mogdred and quail!"

Dungeoneer-"I am wearing a helmet that prevents me from seeing anything that is more that 4 steps away, and besides, that hat removes any fear that your voice can enduce"
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Re:They would never say...

Post by Fury »

Dungeoneer: I challenge!
Cedric: Challenge accepted! Now leesten very carefully, I shall say thees only vonce...


Treguard: ..or will the Dungeon win once more? And if so, why should you care? I don't.


[A Season One dungeoneer has died, and we see the team in the lands beyond the castle]
Treguard (singing): Up above the streets and houses, rainbow, shining high!


Mogdred: Look upon Mogdred, look upon Mogdred and tell me how pretty I am...


Merlin: Spellcasting! D-I-S-C-O!


The raven: The second step is the conga! Rharrrk!


[A dungeoneer has died under less than difficult circumstances]
Treguard: Oooh, stupid! Spellcasting... I-D-I-O-T-S


Casper: Hello there, I'm Casper, and I'll be your fourth advisor for the next few rooms. Treguard needs the break.
Dungeons don't kill people; advisors do.
Billy
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Re:They would never say...

Post by Billy »

I'm amazed no one's done this one yet.

Casper: "Hi, I'm Casper!"
Dungeoneer: (eyes bulge out, hair goes white) "A KEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!" (runs away screaming)
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Re:They would never say...

Post by Kieran »

' Dungeoneer: I challenge!
Cedric: Challenge accepted! Now leesten very carefully, I shall say thees only vonce...'

Continuing this theme...

Weeping Door: Gid moanings, dungeoneer.
'He's NOT a Dungeoneer, he's a VERY naughty boy!'
Scott_Wilkinson
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Re:They would never say...

Post by Scott_Wilkinson »

Lissard - "Having more troubles with the pool of varacity, Lordness?"

Lord Fear - "Yes, Lissard. Now, I'm gonna tell you this one last time. Don't use this for a toilet, you've messed it all up!!!"
The number one Children's programme of all time for me is, was and always will be the one and only... Knightmare.
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Re:They would never say...

Post by djoska »

Brollachan: It's just a jump to your left,

Dungeoneer: and then a step to your ri------ght,

Brollachan: Put your hand on your hips,

Dungeoneer: And bend your knees in ti---me,

etc, etc.

Knightmare- the musical!!!
coming soon to the London Palladium!

It would work- I fancy putting a rap beat to half of the Knightmare dialogues- most of them rhymed!!

You can just see it- Assassins in the 'hoods, and sylvester nicking all da bling!!!

now- they would never say that!!!
however, Norwich seems to be quite chavved out!
Keep a look out for my Knew Knightmare PC game!!
V1.0 coming soon!!!!
Drassil
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Re:They would never say...

Post by Drassil »

Thank you for the positive feedback. I certainly enjoyed putting it together. (I've been told that the shield picture which I credited as Level 2 is actually Level 1.)


Series 3 Sorceress: A hex has been fixed upon me, and for the next thirty days, I'll be eating nothing but McGrew's food. That's right, I'm Morghanna Spell-Lock.


[It's just after the end of Series 4, and Giles has been kidnapped on his way home by Lord Fear.]

Giles: Does this mean I won't be home for Christmas?

Lord Fear: Shuddup, I'm talking. So the Gruagach was like, "Hey, Mogdred, my nephew really wants to run the Opposition." And Mogdred was like, "Sure, whatever, the me/Merlin scenario's been exhausted, and in any case I've always found it annoyingly derivative. Let me clear out my playpen and I'll be off. I think I'll retire to the country, I've always wanted to see an actual quail." So here I am. My name is Lord Fear, and there's nothing annoyingly derivative about that.

Giles: Continue.

Lord Fear: My minions won't arrive for another 3-5 lurking days, and I've brought you here so I have someone to show off to. The first thing I have done to make my mark is to create a new Dungeon obstacle. Something original. You've had flying blocks, you've had spinning blades... so may I present... rolling stones!

[LF brings up an image in his crystall ball. It shows a chamber with members of The Rolling Stones sitting on a bench, holding axes and looking bored.]

Lord Fear: So, what do you think?

Giles: [Peering at the image] Keith Richards is beginning to show his age.

Lord Fear: [After falling off his chair and laughing until he cries] Give that boy an eyeshield!

---

[The following is amalgamated from a post made on Saturday 06 May 2006, 17:12, to negate the double posting.]

[A dungeoneer enters a clue room, and takes the food (a Vegemite sandwich) from the clue table. Suddenly a didgeridoo is heard, and an upside-down wall monster appears.]

Wall Monster: G'day! I'm Wallaby of Ligend, and this is Dungeoneer Cell Block 1. 'Fraid I can't let you nick me tucker without asking you a few questions. So here's me first. With a little understanding, what can you find?

Dungeoneer: The perfect blend.

Wallaby: Streuth, accepted! Here's me second. Where is nixt door?

Dungeoneer: Only a footstep away.

Wallaby: Streuth, accepted! Pretty good, mate. Now here's me third. Can ya tell what it is yet?

---

[The following is amalgamated from a post made on Wednesday 05 July 2006, 16:52, to negate the double posting.]

Voiceover: Twelve years ago, a crack Northguard unit was sent into exile by a CITV court for a crime they didn't commit. These men escaped to the Sci-Fi Channel. Today, still wanted by Watchers, they survive as reruns on Challenge. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The K-Team.

Mr. T(reguard): I pity the fool who don't know left from right!

[Murlin arrives, tells him that Sylvester Face has been kidnapped, and says that they're going to rescue him on Smirkenorff.]

Mr. T(reguard): You crazy fool! I ain't gettin' on no dragon!

[Meanwhile, Colonel Fear is preparing a new Life Force clock, similar to the Series 8 one.]

Colonel Fear: I love it when a flan comes together!

---

[The following is amalgamated from a post made on Sunday 23 July 2006, 18:21, to negate the double posting.]

Team 6 of Series 8 (Dunstan and co): Short Cut? No way! We're here to do this properly or not at all. And if you're strapped for time, edit out Majida so you can show our whole quest. Even if you're not strapped for time, in fact. Anyways, onwards to Level Two!


Golgarach: Here is my third. What is the-

[Temporal disruption bell sounds.]

Golgarach: I've started so I'll finish...
Last edited by Drassil on 06 Aug 2006, 20:04, edited 1 time in total.
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
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Re:They would never say...

Post by 37Herbie »

*Dungeoneer enters a room and the advisors describe the room and, after a long pause, all stare at Treguard*

Treguard: "Not sure what your looking at me for team for I have no knowledge of this room or any hints for you to proceed."

Advisor: "So can I help him through the protal to begin his quest then?"
"Oh Dear, What a Pity, Never Mind"
darkDescender
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Re:They would never say...

Post by darkDescender »

Treguard:

"There is an important Quest Card at the Guild for you."

"It seems you've mastered the Combat Multiplier"

Lord Fear:

"Ade due damballa, give me the power, I beg of you...
"Welcome to one of Mogdred's little playpens, dungeoneer. Play awhile...Play forever! Mwahahahahaha! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!"
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Re:They would never say...

Post by HStorm »

Lord Fear: "With this new source of energon, we can finally crush the Autobots... once and for all!!!!!"
Knightmare Audio Plays from The Dunshelm Players.
darkDescender
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Re:They would never say...

Post by darkDescender »

In A.D. 1991 quest was beginning...

Treguard: What happen?

Pickle: Someone set us up the bomb.
We get signal

Treguard: What.

Pickle: Magic Mirror turn on.

(Lord Fear materializes in the mirror)

Treguard: It's you.

Lord F: How are you gentlemen.
All your quest are belong to us.
You are on the way to destruction.

Treguard: What you say!!

Lord F: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Ha ha ha.

Pickle: Master!!

(Treguard guides dungeoneer to the portal to begin the quest)

Treguard: Take off every ZIG.
You know what you doing.
Move ZIG
For great justice!!
"Welcome to one of Mogdred's little playpens, dungeoneer. Play awhile...Play forever! Mwahahahahaha! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!"
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