Corbiss the Bemuser

For all the comedians out there.
Drassil
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Re: Corbiss the Bemuser

Post by Drassil » Sun Nov 03, 2019 3:58 pm

Beaujolais de Pfeffel, borne back up by his supporters, succeeds in imposing temporal disruption on all the dungeon's decision makers. Maesandre is able to avoid this spell by reinventing herself as a Winterian elder, Lady Hail. With support from Ariadne, she hatches a plan to free the dungeon.

Lady Hail sends BeauJeau a scroll that purports to be from a soothsayer called Jennifer the Accurate. Jennifer offers to meet BeauJeau at the tallest tree in Dunkley Wood, from where he can summon her to tell him the future while treating him to a lesson in bole dancing.

BeauJeau hastens to the tree, where he finds the 'TRICK or TREAT?' scroll from Series 6 and casts TREAT. Suddenly he is bound by webbing and his extremities turn to icicles. He is only restored by Lady Hail when he promises to lift the temporal disruption and remove the Anode Eel.

Corbiss the Bemuser emerges from temporal disruption. Acclimatising to the present day far more quickly than many believed possible, he proposes to defeat BeauJeau once and for the moment by challenging him to a snap election. Once again, Snapper-Jack makes the announcement:

"Snipper snap, snipper snap,
Good luck choosing: they're all cr...azed."

Many people besides BeauJeau and Corbiss are taking part in the election, including Jo the Winsome and Nicola the Turgid from among the Picts. Mr. Forage also shows an interest, backed by the Dunwold Thump and a nun called Ann Widdershins, so called because she wants to help them turn the clock back.

The race is on to choose the Powers That Be's new leader before Merlin starts sending people home for Christmas.

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Re: Corbiss the Bemuser

Post by Drassil » Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:23 pm

Campaigning in New Witch Haven, Beaujolais de Pfeffel is accused of being a lothario who draws power from Lord Fear's Mendacity Engine (as referred to in The Quest Volume 3 Issue 1) and makes it up as he goes along. He tries to assure the Grey Sisters that he is nothing of the sort: he has a plan for the Greater Dungeon and it is "oven ready". This accidentally (or not) comes out as "I'm coven ready". He is chased away by Peggatty.

Meanwhile, Corbiss the Bemuser realises that to increase his popularity, he must match BeauJeau's second-nature wit. He attempts this by tricking the people of Greenshades into buying jars of his plainberry jam laced with miretrog mucus. He explains: "The innate jest is snot for sale! Snot for sale! Snot for sale!" He is chased away by Peggatty.

Drassil
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Re: Corbiss the Bemuser

Post by Drassil » Sat Nov 16, 2019 3:12 pm

Corbiss the Bemuser sends several knights off in search of a magic money forest, while he visits Wolfenden to spell out to the townsfolk that it's time for real change. So emphatic is Corbiss that he literally spells it out, unwittingly casting CHANGE and turning himself into a goblin.

Unsure whether this is cast-locked, Corblin opts to stay as he is, believing that a degree of hideousness will be to his advantage in some quarters. Indeed, trolls now support him even more than before. Brother Mace, however, no longer recognises Corblin as representing the Powers That Be. As he did when he encountered Goblin-Chris in Series 5 Quest 7, Mace reaches for the Staff of Saint Smasher the Aggressive. He gets in a few good whacks before Corblin's supporters accuse him of weaponising Christianity.

Beaujolais de Pfeffel, meanwhile, knows better than to go looking for a magic money forest: he decides to conjure one up. To fulfil this pledge, he spellcasts DELIVER. What he gets is a wood full of tree trolls complaining about him: a magic moany forest. The wood also has standing stones inhabited by the barbershop-quarter-reject gargoyle from Series 2 who repeats "Doom", accompanied by his brother who repeats "Gloom".

Unable to silence these trolls, doomsters and gloomsters, BeauJeau dispels DELIVER. Yet in reversing it, he gets REVILED.

Becoming wise to this 'dispellcasting', BeauJeau again makes a move to impose temporal disruption on the Greater Dungeon: he spellcasts PROROGUED, knowing full well that Lady Hail will order him to undo it. This he does by dispelling it as PROUDOGRE - summoning the Dunwold Thump.

BeauJeau is expecting Thump to be delighted to see him and to pledge his support. But Thump, having been yanked across from a distant land, is afflicted with spell lag and irritable and hungry. BeauJeau, keen to appeal to the ogre, proposes they dine on faerie creatures: one for Thump, one for him. At this, Thump flies into a rage and starts bludgeoning BeauJeau. As the club descends on BeauJeau's head, he is left wondering why the prescient Thump would react so badly to his suggestion of an "imp each".

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