Bribes

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HStorm
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Bribes

Post by HStorm » Fri Dec 12, 2008 7:45 pm

Don't you think bribe-scenes in Knightmare are just completely implausible? You know the scenario, Gumboil or Olaf or Fatilla or Skarkill are stood on a cavern ledge or between the dungeoneer and a wellway. The dungeoneer doesn't have a password so he offers them a bar of gold or a ruby, which the guard accepts after making a protracted and utterly unconvincing display of reluctance, before stepping aside and allowing passage.

Every time I see this, I always find myself wondering, "That guard's going to get into trouble if Mogdred/Lord F finds out that he's been accepting bribes, so why doesn't he just kill the dungeoneer and then take the treasure afterwards?"

All right, so the guards I've listed here are pretty thick, but are they really that thick?
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Velvet
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Re:Bribes

Post by Velvet » Fri Dec 12, 2008 8:15 pm

I have to agree that that's the most implausible part of the Knightmare set-up. Unless they were unwilling to risk being injured by the dungeoneer? That doesn't really cut the mustard, I don't think, as most guards were armed. But maybe it's a small possibility?

Almost as implausible, though understandable, is the way anyone physically threatening a dungeoneer (Cedric with his staff, Fatilla with his cudgel etc.) would just hop about going, 'right, here I come!' for about 10 seconds. I don't think a real guard would do that.

As I say, understandable given the slow nature of most the teams, but still looked a bit silly.
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HStorm
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Re:Bribes

Post by HStorm » Fri Dec 12, 2008 8:50 pm

Yeah, the worst example of that was Gibbet's, "Say nighty-night, little one!" shenanigans against team 3 in season 1. I honestly thought he was going to count to fifty before he stopped rocking forward and backward on his heels.
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Velvet
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Re:Bribes

Post by Velvet » Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:21 pm

Wait a minute! I've got the most splendid idea!

If everybody who gets aggressive in pubs did that then there'd be no violence in high streets up and down the country on a Friday and Saturday night, right? The NHS would save money and everything!

If we can get today's impressionable youth to watch Knightmare and tell them that's how mindless violence works, nobody'll ever get glassed, punched or stabbed again! The victim would be half way home by the time the aggressor lands a punch!

BRING BACK KNIGHTMARE!
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HStorm
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Re:Bribes

Post by HStorm » Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:23 pm

Brilliant. Have you ever considered a career in Parliament?
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Velvet
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Re:Bribes

Post by Velvet » Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:40 pm

Nah. I could never get used to the underwear.
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HStorm
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Re:Bribes

Post by HStorm » Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:53 pm

I said Parliament, not the Church!

"Vote for Velvet to combat violent crime by bringing back Knightmare, to legislate for compulsory jockstraps for all goblins under the age of 5, to reduce drunken disorderly behaviour by granting The Order of Tavern Monks exclusive access to all alcoholic drinks in Britain, and to bring an end to air pollution by exterminating all fire-breathing dragons!"

Now there's a manifesto Marx & Engels would be proud of.
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Velvet
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Re:Bribes

Post by Velvet » Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:23 pm

Want to be my spin doctor?
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HStorm
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Re:Bribes

Post by HStorm » Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:30 pm

No, I come out in hives every time I think of Peter Mandelson and Alistair Campbell.

Actually, this is starting to remind me of this thread...

http://www.knightmare.com/forum/http:// ... readid=951
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PookasRule
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Re:Bribes

Post by PookasRule » Sat Dec 13, 2008 2:52 pm

Don't try to bribe the goblins though, under any circumstances!
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Gizensha
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Re:Bribes

Post by Gizensha » Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:55 pm

HStorm wrote: Don't you think bribe-scenes in Knightmare are just completely implausible? You know the scenario, Gumboil or Olaf or Fatilla or Skarkill are stood on a cavern ledge or between the dungeoneer and a wellway. The dungeoneer doesn't have a password so he offers them a bar of gold or a ruby, which the guard accepts after making a protracted and utterly unconvincing display of reluctance, before stepping aside and allowing passage.
...Wasn't Olaf more about 'robbing gold of dungeoneers or bashing their heads in for pleasure' than 'bribe'?

Personally, I don't mind the lack of realism of that element, especially considering it comes straight from the fantasy videogames of the time , pretty much, doesn't it? Well, maybe more Interactive Fiction (unless you want to scream/screw [limited parsers causing that rather cute eccenticity - it was programed as scream, but at least one person trying for full points got fed up and typed 'screw the bear' into the parsor. "The bear rears back in fear and falls off the cliff." being a bizarely appropriate response for a bug due to a technological limitation, really) than RPGs, but...

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Re:Bribes

Post by HStorm » Sat Dec 13, 2008 6:29 pm

Gizensha wrote: Wasn't Olaf more about 'robbing gold of dungeoneers or bashing their heads in for pleasure' than 'bribe'?
It still amounts to the same thing though. Either give Olaf the gold or he 'tumps' you on the head. (And he'd often insist that "the orders is the orders".)
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Re:Bribes

Post by sozboz » Mon Dec 15, 2008 8:54 pm

What's wrong with bribes? Gotta grease the wheels a little sometimes.
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Re:Bribes

Post by HStorm » Mon Dec 15, 2008 9:19 pm

It's not the bribes themselves I'm talking about, it's just that the way they're done is implausible. As soon as the guard has the bar of gold, there's nothing to stop him attacking the dungeoneer anyway. And seeing that Lord F or Mogdred will be angry if they find out that the guard has accepted a bribe, it doesn't make sense that they let the dungeoneer pass instead. That's all I'm pointing out.
Last edited by HStorm on Mon Dec 15, 2008 10:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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PookasRule
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Re:Bribes

Post by PookasRule » Mon Dec 15, 2008 10:29 pm

In my opinion, at least where gold was concerned, the guard was so overcome by their greed and so dazzled by the gold that nothing else in the world mattered to them at that time - thus giving the dungeoneer time to escape. Perhaps we could assume that the guard realized his mistake almost immediately but when he turned round to face the dungeoneer they had gone.
Last edited by Anonymous on Mon Dec 15, 2008 10:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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