They would never say...

For all the comedians out there.
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Emii
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Emii »

Ariadne: 'Incy wincy human, came into Level One, down came the spider, and bit him on the... oh, the Dungeoneer's run off. I was too slow. Again.'
;D *snerk* *giggle* *snerk* ;D
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"
Drassil
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil »

Series 7 Dungeoneer: 'Pickle, Pickle, Pickle!'

[Pickle appears in a flash of light. His arms and legs are tied.]

Pickle: 'Gosh, thank you! The last thing I remember was some sort of gypsy girl hitting me over the head with a staff...'
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
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JamesA
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Re: They would never say...

Post by JamesA »

Lissard - "No more fish please you Lordness - one has turned into a vegan."
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Re: They would never say...

Post by FrightKnight »

Pickle: Master?!
Treguard: Yes, Pickle?
Pickle: You've...you've...
Treguard: So I've shaved my head, put a tattoo on my arm and grew my beard 'til it was 4ft long. I fancied a change, alright Pickle? You should try an image change too.
Pickle: Well....I suppose my eyebrows could do with a trim.
Treguard: Excellent idea, Pickle! Half the time I don't know whether you're frowning or ecstatic.
"A rotting pie! Oh no, I'm dead!"
Fidjit
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Fidjit »

One team encounter Elita, but the tables turned a little bit here...

Dungeoneer: You are a poor excuse for a cavern-elf I would have expected better from a goblin, too easily bribed, poorly dressed, everyone hates you...

Elita: I'm sorry... *snif* I'm trying my best...

Dungeoneer: HA! Tell you what... You give me face-ache just by looking at you, even if I have the helmet on it sort of burns through it. God knows how a mirror puts up with it!

Elita: Okay, okay... I'll be nice as possible *snif* *snif* just don't hurt my feelings anymore *sob*

Dungeoneer: If I were your father I'd put you in solitary confinement...

Were going to stop there for we know what the score here is...

DONT WE?
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? :-/
Drassil
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil »

This topic has been viewed over 1000 times! Fantastic!  ;D

[Pickle and Treguard look into the camera.]

Pickle: 'Oh, Master, are the Watchers still here?'

Treguard: 'I'm afraid so, Pickle. They seem to enjoy us. Except for one little toerag who switched over 10 minutes ago to watch CBBC.'

Pickle: 'Tracking... [His eyes glow red.] ...Got 'im! A 9-year-old living in Redditch. There's an elf portal 2 miles from his house. [Grabs staff] He's mine.'

Treguard: 'Now, now, Pickle, there are far better ways to resolve this. Hand me that key. [Treguard unlocks a large chest, releasing an army of floating skulls.] Fly, my pretties! FLY!!'

***

Dungeoneer: 'Can't you get it into your thick skull? I don't want you attacking me!'

Treguard: I fear such dry wit will prove useless against the catacombite, Team.

[The Dungeoneer is indeed eaten by the catacombite.]

Treguard: Yeeesss!! [Sings] Who's not winnin' any more? Who's not... [Clears throat] I mean, oooooh, naaasty!'

***

[Grimwold clobbers a Series 3 Dungeoneer.]

Treguard: 'Well, Team, it looks like your dungeoneer's become a 'club' sandwich, haha. Wait, don't cry... Oh, not again. Sorry, Team. Better edit that last comment, Tim!'

***

Majida: 'But Treguard...'

Treguard: 'Madam, for once, just shut up. [Majida tries to speak.] Shut up. Shut up. Shut... up. Indulge in shutting up. Shut up. Get a degree in Shutupology. Shut, as the old saying goes, up. Attain a state of shutupness. Please shut up. Shut the Fear up. Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!'

[Silence, except for the dripping of a myriad tears of joy across the nation.]

Treguard: [Getting his breath back] 'And... having thus shut up... cut my toenails.'
Last edited by Drassil on 11 Jun 2005, 02:33, edited 1 time in total.
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
Fidjit
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Fidjit »

Fatilla: Tell me or you'll be blipped and then blopped!

Dungeoneer: Fat slob!

Fatilla: Huuuuh!

Dungeoneer: I-I-I said "Good Job"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Treguard impersonating Mildread

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lillith forming a bridge for nothing...

"Okay, fine you have nothing! I'll let you off..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mogdread: This is your future play pen...

Dungeoneer: Where are the toys then?

Mogdread: Uhh... Play with the bars of the door...

DUNGEONNER DOES

Dungeoneer: I've never had so much fun in all my life!!! Oh wow this is so cool!!!

Advisors: Starve already!

BOOOOOOONG!
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? :-/
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Re: They would never say...

Post by FrightKnight »

(On a day when the rugby is on, only KM is left. Or is it?)

Dungeoneer: Where am I?
Advisors: You're in a room, and...wait, isn't that Queen T-Bag?
Treguard: Um, so it is.
Queen T-Bag: Where are the sunstones of Montezuma?
Treguard: You are too late. Your programme isn't on today.
Pat Sharp: Welcome to Fun house!
Treguard: And you can go away too!
Pat Sharp: Watch it, beardie, or I'll get the girls to gunge you.
Treguard: I bet that's not even a real mullet. (Pulls hair) Look, it's just fake.
Pat Sharp: OW! Stop that! It's real! I bet your beard is fake (starts pulling beard)
Treguard: Ouch! Why you- (continues)
Pickle: Sorry i'm late, master, bu-wha-?
Queen T-Bag: Ooh, I've always liked a man with odd eyebrows.
Pickle: *Gulp*
Advisors: I think we'd best go home.
Dungeoneer: Hello? Where am I? Where is everyone? Hello?
Announcer of Dangermouse: And so, the sun sets of another adventure. Tune in next week for another episode of Fun-Mare! I mean Knight-mouse! I mean...oh forget it. I wonder if that job as a BBC weatherman is still available...?
"A rotting pie! Oh no, I'm dead!"
Scott_Wilkinson
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Scott_Wilkinson »

Lord Fear - "You haven't had much food recently, have you Ben? Well, I hate to see people die, so, have this loaf of bread."

Treguard - "Here, Majida, you sit in my chair now. After all, you are carrying my baby."

Motley - "Hmm, I wonder if it's about time I started telling rude jokes for a change."
The number one Children's programme of all time for me is, was and always will be the one and only... Knightmare.
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Re: They would never say...

Post by FrightKnight »

Elita: Hello! My, you're looking good today. Isn't everything wonderful? But enogh about my opinions. Would you like this green gem stone? Julius Scaramonger gave it to me in a fit of generousity.
"A rotting pie! Oh no, I'm dead!"
Drassil
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil »

Treguard: 'Team, the Eye Shield is currently at the blacksmith's for repairs, so here instead is the Nose Shield. Now, when you find a spyglass, hold it up in front of the Nose Shield, and we'll finally be able to discover what aftershave Lord Fear uses.'

Pickle: 'If any.'

***

Little Miss Muffet: 'Where am I?'

Little Jack Horner: 'OK, LMM, you're in like a room with a rocky ledge, and just ahead of you there's what seems like a low stool of some kind. There's something on it so can you walk forward? ... Stop. Can you see the stool?'

LMM: 'Yeah. I think it's a tuffet.'

Little Red Riding Hood: 'What's on it?'

LMM: 'Some food... whey, and curds.'

Treguard: 'Caution, Team, don't dally in this place; danger is approaching.'

Little Tommy Tucker: 'OK, put the food in your knapsack.'

[Instead, LMM sits down and begins to eat the food.]

LRRH: 'What are you doing?!'

LMM: 'This is my favourite food, I'm not gonna shove it in a bag, alright?'

Treguard: 'Warning! This is Ariadne's lair...'

[Ariadne has crawled over to LMM. The Advisors scream at her. LMM gets up and away just in time.]

***

[Fidjit comes up to a Series 7 Dungeoneer.]

Fidjit: 'Hello there, Fidjit's the name.'

Dungeoneer: 'Look, Mr. Valentine - or may I call you Paul? - why don't you just: creep back to your dressing room; slip into your Motley outfit; come back; and we'll say no more about it, eh?'
Last edited by Drassil on 26 Jan 2006, 16:59, edited 1 time in total.
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HStorm
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Re: They would never say...

Post by HStorm »

Brollachan:  You got the answer to the riddle wrong.

Pickle:  We mustn't get too involved.

Majida:  I like you, Treguard.

Gideon:  Must watch my language.

Ridolfo:  

Cedric:  You look handsome.

Gumboil:  No more for me, I'm driving.

Dooris:  WAHEEEEEEYYY!!!

Lord Fear:  I got it wrong.

Igneous:  I respect your intelligence.

Me:  I like season six.
Last edited by HStorm on 30 Nov 2003, 15:04, edited 1 time in total.
Knightmare Audio Plays from The Dunshelm Players.
Fidjit
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Fidjit »

Cedric beats his stick over the dungeoneers head:

Dungeoneer: OUCH!
Advisor: Come on that didn't hurt!
Dungeoneer: *groan* urrnngggh!
Advisors: Are you alright?
Dungeoneer: No, the stick sort of went through the helmet into my head...
Treguard: CEDRIC! How many times have I told you not to use a crowbar...
Cedric: That wasn't a crowbar that was a scaffolding pole!
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? :-/
Lord_Bob

Re: They would never say...

Post by Lord_Bob »

Lord Fear: Well then, i was going to stand here and do a long and pointless speech and taunt you, thus giving you time to defeat me, however I have discovered this invention
 *Pulls Out Gun*
LF: So I will just ice you instead!
D: What shall I *BANG!* Oh lord, i'm bleeeding
A: Hey, that's cheating
D: Guys I am bleeding to death here
A: We don't care about you we want a Frightnight trophy
Pickle: Well master, it looks like Lord Fear must be taught a lesson
Treguard: Yes Pickle, bring me my shotgun....
simiano
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Re: They would never say...

Post by simiano »

*dungeoneer falls off cause way*

Tregaurd: ohhh nasty and that was real

Advisor: oh great *runs in dungeon and follows* dam they fixed it oh well who want pizza
Last edited by simiano on 30 Nov 2003, 22:41, edited 1 time in total.
why do we let these kids mess up our clean and tidy dungeon
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