A great Knightmare joke...

For all the comedians out there.
GrimaldineGrimwold
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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold » Tue Dec 31, 2002 3:04 pm

Elita's mouth is so big that when she coughed one day she produced the whole contents of the Sewers of Goth.
Last edited by GrimaldineGrimwold on Tue Dec 31, 2002 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold » Tue Dec 31, 2002 3:05 pm

And Elita's mouth is so filthy Lissard and the Miremen treat is as a home from home.
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by Emii » Tue Dec 31, 2002 3:50 pm

Elita's mouth is so big and foul, after eating she has to pick the goblins out with a pitchfork...
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by Ark » Tue Dec 31, 2002 4:09 pm

I'm not saying that Elita's mouth is big, but when she went to treat a mouth ulcer once, I heard Bumptious' voice coming from inside saying "We'll need a lot more powder here..."

GG: Sorry, meant no offence. If you want, I'll put a bucket on my head, wear my old paperboy's bag, hold a twig and a jar of jam in my hands and offer to find you a spell... :)
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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by JamesA » Tue Dec 31, 2002 9:17 pm

Elita's mouth is so big that it recently tried transporting a thousand asylum seekers  :D
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Creator of the Knightmare: 25th Anniversary Documentary

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by JamesA » Tue Dec 31, 2002 9:18 pm

So when I told Lissard that Raptor was to take over his job, he was green with envy  ;D
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Creator of the Knightmare: 25th Anniversary Documentary

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold » Tue Dec 31, 2002 11:20 pm

Elita's mouth is so big that Tim Child originally hired her not to act, but to store all the props, costumes and equipment in her gob.
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold » Tue Dec 31, 2002 11:22 pm

Elita's mouth is so big and foul, after eating she has to pick the goblins out with a pitchfork...
LOL.
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold » Tue Dec 31, 2002 11:25 pm

I'm not saying that Elita's mouth is big, but when she went to treat a mouth ulcer once, I heard Bumptious' voice coming from inside saying "We'll need a lot more powder here..."

GG: Sorry, meant no offence. If you want, I'll put a bucket on my head, wear my old paperboy's bag, hold a twig and a jar of jam in my hands and offer to find you a spell... :)
Between Emii, Debz and Ark's posts, I always seem to be laughing. :) Well, Ark, even though I wasn't really offended, an UNBINDING spell would be helpful. Or if you're feeling lazy, a bone for Festus would do.
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by GrandDizzy » Wed Jan 01, 2003 4:15 am

What have I started here!? I go away for a couple of weeks and this thread descends into a flood of generic big-mouth jokes! Good job I'm back with a sixth joke...

Man: Doctor, Doctor, I've watched Knightmare so much I'm suffering from hallucenations.

Doctor: Ooh, nasty!

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by GrandDizzy » Wed Jan 01, 2003 4:36 am

#7:

Q: Why is it so hard to get an interview with former Knightmare contestants?

A: Because they're always sidestepping the questions.
Last edited by GrandDizzy on Wed Jan 01, 2003 4:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by GrandDizzy » Wed Jan 01, 2003 4:43 am

#8:

Q: What do you call a dungeon master who protects the royal kitchen from intruders?

A: Tray guard.
Last edited by GrandDizzy on Wed Jan 01, 2003 4:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by Ark » Wed Jan 01, 2003 3:00 pm


Between Emii, Debz and Ark's posts, I always seem to be laughing. :) Well, Ark, even though I wasn't really offended, an UNBINDING spell would be helpful. Or if you're feeling lazy, a bone for Festus would do.
Er...well, it seemed like a good idea at the time! You know, combining a large bone with an RELEASER spell to release your two sides, the best of both worlds? Unfortunately, I kind of mis-spelt the spell name, and...

*slams shut a door when a couple of bones stick out, all yelling things like "Faceache" and "Dragon Droppings"*

Dammit...how could I spell it RE-ELITA? Erm, could you call back? This could take a while...

*enters the room armed with a BAG spell and several rolls of duct tape...*
When you stare too long into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you...

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold » Wed Jan 01, 2003 3:12 pm

LOL. Must think of more Elita jokes. *thinking cap on*
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]

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Re: A great Knightmare joke...

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold » Wed Jan 01, 2003 3:13 pm

I thought of branching out into more Sidriss jokes, but can't think of any. So if anyone can finish the line, "Sidriss is so stupid..." please fire away. :)
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]

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