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Knightmare.com • Knightmare adverts - Page 3
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Re: Priceless!

Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 4:21 pm
by HStorm
(Probably not the ideal thread for this, but I can't find a better one and it doesn't feel worth starting a new one.)

"So I was sat there in Marblehead, unable to detect where the latest dungeoneer was stumbling through Level Two, when it suddenly hit me! 'I need,' I thought, 'a computer that can pinpoint to the nearest eighth of an inch where the brats are hiding. So I told the boys at Microsoft and BOOM! Windows 7 comes out, and now, I can fry a dungeoneer alive with a fireball from any distance in any part of the Dungeon Dimensions! My name's Lord Aedric Morris Fear, and Windows 7 was my idea!"

Re: Knightmare adverts

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 6:10 pm
by Drassil
[A spyglass opens up a view of Lord Fear's Series 6 throne room. Lord Fear, Hands, Grippa and Rhark are there. Rhark is holding a Genoese box of delights, from which a high-pitched rant is emanating.]

Lord Fear: Alright, Hands, I have two tasks for you. First, I know it's a bit like breaking the rules, but have a wash. At least, clean your face a bit. It's so dirty I can't bear to look at it, though those things may not be connected. Second... [he gestures at the box]... shut that pixie up once and for all. I don't care how, just do it.

Hands: Yes, yer lordship.

Lord Fear: And because I've wasted so much time telling you all that, I want both things done within the next forty seconds.

Hands: Er... I know I'm nifty n' all, but 'ow do I manage that?

Lord Fear: Be imagina- no, scratch that. [Hastily] And scratch me saying "scratch that": I don't want to think what image you'll give me. Be... judicious.

Hands: What does that mean?

Lord Fear: Its rough definition is 'being something more than a miserable nose-offending cretin'.

Hands: Right. I've got it. [He addresses the box.] Pixie. I've got terrible cramp in me 'ands from tying and untying me magic rope, and if you give me some acupac... apachepun... acapulca... pokes wiv yer needle so I can do me job properly again, 'is lordship says you can go free.

Pixel: Oh! Alright. Anything to get off this stinking mountain.

[Hands opens the box. Pixel flies out and lands on his outstretched hand. Hands claps the other hand on top of it. Green slime oozes out. Hands rubs it on his face, which is soon gleamingly clean.]

Lord Fear: Bravo. With the exception of the needle sticking out your left nostril, that was judicious indeed. Remind me to give you a bonus sometime. I probably won't, but remind me anyway. I like saying no. Anything to add, goblins?

Grippa & Rhark: [Singing] Now Hands that judicious can feel soft as your face, with mild green faerie liquid.

[Closing shot of the box, which how has a Faerie Liquid logo on it.]

Re: Knightmare adverts

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 6:15 pm
by shadow6162

Re: Knightmare adverts

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 6:41 pm
by Canadanne
How can something be so groan-inducing and yet so awe-inspiring at the same time?

Re: Knightmare adverts

Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 7:24 pm
by shadow6162
Canadanne wrote:How can something be so groan-inducing and yet so awe-inspiring at the same time?
I dunno. Magic? (lol bad funny by me ::) )

Re: Knightmare adverts on CITV

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 6:34 pm
by Picklemyfav
I'd buy a Knightmare dvd....... :idea: Right now from HMV if I could. 8) In fact if I hadn't found Knightmare on youtube I would have been asking my dad to look for a Knightmare dvd on ebay. My dad would have ended up looking like Richard O Brian from the Crystal Maze by the end of the search. After tearing his hair out.

I know this is about adverts for Knightmare but I am picturing Skarkill doing a advert for a Breakfast Cereal called Dungeon Os [like Cheerios but with marshmallow doors in it.] at this very moment.

This is the Advert i'm picturing right now. Enjoy. ;D ;) :)

[Picture of Dungeon Os. Skarkill picks it up, opens it and pours some in a bowl then adds sour milk to his. "Lovely" ;) [Walks up to a grand looking chair and sits down.]
Skarkill: [In menacing voice holding bowl of Dungeon Os sitting in Treguard's chair.] "Everyone in the dungeon eats Dungeon Os......" [Treguard walks up to Skarkill holding bowl full of Dungeon Os Treguard has fresh milk in his. Skarkill grins sheepishly ::) ] "........Dungeon Master Treguard eats them." [leaves chair quickly.]
[Then you see him walking past Lord Fear and Lizzard quickly as he does this we see that both Lord Fear and Lizzard are sitting down eating a bowl of Dungeon Os]
Lizzard: [happy] I have Yogurt in mine Lord Fear.
Lord Fear: [pleased] Lizzard you should try it with Sour cream sometime.
Lizzard: [disgusted] Sour Cream doesn't work with cereal.
Lord Fear:[annoyed] Yes it does.
Lizzard:[Snarls at Lord Fear] Doesn't work for me.... Master.
Skarkill: [Looking at camera talking quietly] "Lord Fear and Lizzard eat them."
[Walks in a forest shielding his bowl of Dungeon Os] "Even the goblins......"[Watches dungeoneer walk into a tree after told to go right instead of left and is caught by pack of goblins] ".............When they are not too busy eating hopeless dungeoneers of course. Lovely."
[Sits down on own seat starts eating bowl of Dungeon Os. Looks at camera]
"Remember If you don't eat Dungeon Os for Breakfast. We'll say cheerio.......To you." [Smiles menacingly at camera. fade out to black.]
Voiceover [Skarkill]: Remember Eat Dungeon Os or we'll Eat you. 8-o :idea:

Re: Knightmare adverts on CITV

Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 7:39 pm
by Picklemyfav
I have the design of Dungeon O's all drawn out onto the computer. Hope Drassil could put this onto the website for me for everyone to see as it is a really cool and spooky design. 8) Done in Paint as are all of my computer drawings. :)