Knightmare.com

Things politicians would say if they got a new job in the dungeon...


Treguard:  "You're doing well, but there's a long way to go."
Tony Blair:  "Indeed. We've come a long way, but there is still much to be done in our third level in the dungeon, and many tough decisions must be made. We may have to suspend funding for the National Elf Service, but we can raise new funds with my plans to introduce tuition fees for goblins in further education..."

Skarkill:  "Sooooo, you ain't got nuthin' to bribe me with, is that it?"
Norman Lamont:  "Nothing to bribe you with? Of course I've got something to bribe you with! Statistics show that I have something to bribe you with, and in fact this graph proves conclusively that you would get a far larger rise in corruptly-obtained incomes under a Conservative Government than at any time under Labour... No please don't interrupt me! You've made an accusation and I'm entitled to answer it..."

This is an idea I got from one or two of the gags Drassil put in the "Things They'd Never Say" thread.

Thank you  :)

How about Lord Fear getting 'tough on Dungeoneers, tough on the causes of Dungeoneers'?

Mogdred Thatcher: now there's a hybrid to keep you awake at night...

Everything I know about politics comes from a certain episode of Blackadder and Spitting Image, so I may have to turn to them for further ideas... Oh, and the Francis Urquhart trilogy.

Dungeoneer: Are you Hordriss?
Hordriss: You may think that; one couldn't possibly comment.

Gumboil:  "Are you trying to bribe me? Bribe Gumboil the Incorruptible?"
Michael Howard:  "I have not bribed you. There is no question of me bribing you..."
Gumboil:  "Did you TRY to bribe me?"
Michael Howard:  "No, I did not bribe you, I did not bribe anyone. I was not in a position to bribe you..."
Gumboil:  "That's not what I asked. Did you TRY to bribe me?"
Michael Howard:  "I did not bribe you. There is no possibility of me bribing you or anyone else..."
Gumboil:  "Did you TRY to bribe me?"
Michael Howard:  "I couldn't bribe you, I was not in a position to..."
Gumboil:  "Did you try to bribe me, Mr Howard?"
Michael Howard:  "My position is that we had a meeting where we have exchanged views...
Gumboil:  "I'm sorry but I have to be awfully cheeky here, and insist that you answer the question. Did you TRY to bribe me?"
Michael Howard:  "No, I did not bribe you. You have received no money from me and I have received no preferential treatment from you. The position is very clear, I have never bribed you..."
Gumboil:  "Did you try to bribe me?"
Michael Howard:  "There is no question of me bribing you..."

How about Melly Storrin saying to Mogdred, "I love you, Daddy" before he hurls her from the roof of Knightmare Castle?  

Dungeoneer encounters John Prescott
JP knocks out dungeoneer stone cold
Treguard: "Oooh nasty...."

I was thinking something very similar, Zagor:  :)
Prescott = Grimwold

Lord Fear outlining his manifesto priorities:
'Evisceration, evisceration, evisceration!'

And, at the end of Series 7, did Treguard demonstrate 'zero trollerance'?

How about George W. Bush threatening to 'blip, and blop' terrorists?

I am George W. Bush of legendarisation, face me or be enperishified. Pleaserate me, or departinerise in ignorantifancy. I have three riddlifications. One truth will passicate you on, two may aiderise you, three commandicates my allegiantifaction...

George Galloway:  I fight to defend Lord Fear, who is a splendid and glorious leader, and I strongly encourage the people of the Opposition to unite to defend their territory from the Imperialist army of the dungeoneers.

The Michael Howard/Gumboil rip off of the Jeramy Paxman Interview is brill.  


So is the George Galloway One.  ;D

Great Work HStorm.

Thanks, although the John Culshawifying of George W. Bush is my favourisement.

I love Deadringers , a friend of my parents co-writes the show!

Lucky git! Some of the best satiritical performers in the country and s/he gets to write for them.

he; his name is Jon Holmes and he was my parent's best man. His name is in the credits somewhere if you haven't switched off by then!

Is he a Knightmare fan if so you should tell him to come and join our ever growing community. If he has never heard of it or seen it before you should try and get him to watch it when it's on or/and get him to visit the main site. Anyway do you still see or speek to him?