(Original lyrics, audio)
***
How she walked, how she talked
When she'd come to greet
My winsome, buxom waitress
Always helped me to my seat
She was gorgeous, so I'd
Go in there every day
Besotted with her, my waitress
I'd never felt this way
Then some boy comes walkin' through our flirty tavern scene
And turns my buxom waitress to a shade of minty green
My blood runs cold
Calamity! I've just been told
My waitress is the seneschal
Waitress is the seneschal
My blood runs cold
My enemy's been much too bold
Waitress is the seneschal
Slipped her notes where I confessed
That I was thinkin' of her undressed
I won't lie, she turned me on
My daughter thought me ill
I was shakin' in my robes
Whenever she flashed those magic globes
Soon she had a hold on me
The waitress had some skill
Those hot and hungry pleasures, the magic of her touch
To see her with that scaly face is really just too much
My blood runs cold
Yea, calamity! I've just been told
My waitress is the seneschal
Waitress is the seneschal
My blood runs cold
My enemy's been much too bold
Waitress is the seneschal
(Na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta)
(Na na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta)
(Na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta)
(Na na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta)
It's okay, he understands
This kid won't spread it through the land
I hope that when this Lissard's gone
He'll soon forget just what went on
Take him far, yes I will
We'll sort this out discreetly
Take him out of Level Two
Or kill him off if need be
A part of me wants to be sick
Erase this from my mind, and quick
Oh no, I can't escape it
Oh yeah, at least we didn't tape it
My blood runs cold
Calamity! I've just been told
My waitress is the seneschal
Waitress is the seneschal
My blood runs cold
My enemy's been much too bold
My waitress is the seneschal!
(Na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta)