Knightmare.com

Jordan: Trial By Spikes - The spikes didnt kill you, your boobs were in the way.

Somehow I don't think that she would even make it that far!

If there was ever a celebrity Knightmare,which celebrities would you like to see do it and what would they be like on it?

Ozzy Osbourne: Why did you put this ****ing helmet on my head? Do you want me to crash into a ****ing wall or something?

David Dickinson: Wow! You three may want to take the gem of power, but this antique lamp is a right bobby dazzler!

Linda Barker: The colours in this dungeon are very drab and dull, I think a splash of paint here could do nicely. (Paints walls). I think that works really well!

Gareth Gates: Spell casting G G G G G G G (dungeoneer dies) (A bit mean that one)

I appologies if I've spelt names wrong, but you should work out who I mean.

Uri Gella: I will rid this room of its haunting by staring at it... ...dam I've got a helmet on.

Bruce Foresyth (in a certain series 7 & 8 room): Higher than an ace... (sorry but it had to be done)

Simon Cowell (in series 6): Ridolfo I must stop you now, you singing is rubbish please leave.

Tony Blair: the reason these dungeons are so run down is due to the years of under-funding by the conservatives.

Johnny Vega: Ah I've at the Crazed Heffer, sod the quest I'm staying here, pint please.

Gordon Ramsey: F*** you Fear, this is my dungeon and viewers are leaving disappointed because your minions are a f***ing pile of b******s. Just pull your f***ing opposition together and stop being a f***ing fairy!

*in the time he has been ranting life force pie has run out*

Gordon: And what the F*** was that pie, I wouldn't serve s**** like that in my kitchen....

*Thankfully Treguard dismisses him*

Casper Key wrote:Ozzy Osbourne: Why did you put this ****ing helmet on my head? Do you want me to crash into a ****ing wall or something?

I wonder if Ozzy would be tempted to bite the head off one of those animated bats from Series 3?

LOL

Ed Tudor Pole: Have a cosmic hand shake chap.

Anne Robinson: Slyvester Hands, you are the Weakist Link, good bye.

The Brollachan wrote: Tony Blair: the reason these dungeons are so run down is due to the years of under-funding by the conservatives.

If it was the french version, you just KNOW Gordon Brown would guide Tony off of a cliff so he could take command.

LOL I was thinking that Gorden Brown might be one of the advisers.

Tony: Why have told me to go to the left when I should be going to the right.

...AND...

Tony: Now I am trapped in a room that has no means of escape.
Gorden: I know, bye!

Heres some

David: Here we are in one of the most hostile environments, but in harsh places like these, wall monsters must survive.

DJ Casper (as a guide, as much as I hate the cha cha slide song): O.K theres a giant pit in front of you, so do whaqt I say. Slide to the right, take it back now y'all, slide to the left, three hops this time.

George Bush: This opposition we are faced with are tyrannical, but if we unite we can get through this dungeon and acheive our goal, you are either with the powers that be, or the opposition.

A guide for John Prescott: O.K John, take three steps left and eat the pie... You were meant to put it in your knapsack!

Bill Gates: I have installed a new floating skull, the FloatSkull04. This will be fast, effective and more efficient with dungeoneer killing.
Dungoneer: You're supposed to be the guide, you've made the quest harder.

George Bush: This opposition we are faced with are tyrannical, but if we unite we can get through this dungeon and acheive our goal, you are either with the powers that be, or the opposition.

And here's a comment from the Opposition Infomation Minister.

Comical Ali: The Opposition is a force of good, once we get Dungoneers, we treat them like they're the richest people on the planet.

Lloyd Grossman: Who lives in a castle like this?

Sir David Frost: It's time to go through the trapdoor!

(or an early David Frost : That Was The Witch That Was)

How about Chris Tarrent as a guest he could ask riddles and then say, "is that your final answer."

Tarrantor: Here is my first. Where lies the blow that does no harm but ends the common man?

Dungeoneer: Um...

Tarrantor: Do you want to phone a friend?

Dungeoneer: Yes please.

Tarrantor: Well, you can't. So there.

Richard O'Brian: *Plays harmonica*
Treguard: Dire warning, team. Your lifeforce lost a nasty chunk from that one.