Knightmare.com

Right. Leave him there. No doubt Grippa and Rhark will take him back to your room, you can finish with your fun there.

Now, My next job for you is a little treasure hunting mission.

I want you to scour the land in search of a suitable present for The Mistress. You know I'm thinking of asking her to marry me so I need a gift to signify my love for her.

Make it interesting, you know how she tires of the usual rings, custard, necklaces etc.

"How about an Elf's Hart on a chain, That she can were round er neak."

Hmmmm. Different. Where would you get this heart?

"I'd cut it out of an Elf myself."

Ah, so it would be fresh as well.

Skarkill, you're a genius.....well maybe not. More a one-eyed freak with a manacle fetish and a peculiar taste in friends.

Yet despite this, I think you've had your first ever good idea. Congratulations.

Worry about the Heart tomorrow. Come and join me for a goblet of brandy.....

.......SIT!

"Thankin yer, yer Lordship."

*Takes a seat and a goblet of Brandy.*

"Beggin yer pardon for askin, but ain't this the brandy at went missing from the Crazzed Heffier a munth or 2 back?"

Now Skarkill you should know better than to ask that.

OF COURSE IT IS!!!!

You don't think I would pay for anything that I could steal do you? What sort of Evil Icon do you take me for?

I must admit I've become rather fond of it.

Come on, drink up, there's plenty more in the cellar......of the Crazed Heffer!

"HEHEHEHEHE."

"One advantage of not haveing Old Sly Ands on the pay roll any more."

"The alcahol supplies stay fully stocked longer

Yes. Sly was a bit of a booze hound. Did you ever see his drunken impression of Jimmy Saville?

"Can't say I did, your Lordship."

"I did once see him dance the Hokey Cokey while drunk though."

My god. That's almost as bad as me doing the Time Warp whilst drunk.....


.....Speaking of which. Do you know the Time Warp Skarkill?

"No."

"No I can't ses I dose Your Lordship."

It's really rather simple, my old pal *hic*

You see.....It's just a.....jump to the left, and then a step to the right, put your hands on your hips, and bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insayayayayayane....

Got it Skarkill? Then stand up and...Let's do the Time Warp again!

"I See. Reminds me of a Mireman I once saw that had had a drop to much."

"Then again Miremen can't andle ther drink. Like Elves makes em demnted."

Then maybe you should get an elf drunk, would make the removal of it's heart easier and less messy.

*Time draws on. More and more Brandy flows*

You *hic* know Skarky, you're the only one who undershtands me. You're my besht mate you know that.

Melishandrinoff ish nothing compared to you. You're a beautiful person, physhically disgusting but beautiful inshide.