Parody of Major-General's Song from Pirates of Penzance by G&S

Knightmare-related musical parodies
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Visage
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Parody of Major-General's Song from Pirates of Penzance by G&S

Post by Visage »

(Oh dear, you should not have opened up the Gilbert and Sullivan vein....) ;D

LORD FEAR: HOW DARE YOU HANDS!!!! You would question my abilities, ME, LORD FEAR, the maaan, the big stinking cheese of evil?

HANDS: But, well... your lordship... thing is... you've never actually caught one of those dungeon-thingies yourself....

SKARKILL: Yeah, your Fearship... err, Lordship, we all 'ave, and we think you don't appreciate what it's like...

LISSARD: Yesssnessss, itsssss not fairnesssss


LORD FEAR: IMBECILES! You don't seem to realise that I, Lord Fear, am a strategist. Whilst you lot traipse around the dungeon, I am here... planning...

MALDAME: That's all very well, but what do you actually know? Hidden away in your fortress all day, which incidently you stole from me.....

LORD FEAR: Know madam? Why everthing..... you might almost say.... I am the very model of a modern Techno-sorcerer....

(Music starts playing, Skarkill on bass chorus, Hands on Tenor chorus, Lissard on Alto chorus, Maldame on soprano chorus... LF steps to the front)

HANDS: 'Ere, 'e isn't going to sing is he?

LORD FEAR: Why, yes I am!



I.... am the very model of a modern Techo-Sorcerer,
I've information magical both technical and coarser-er,
I know the rules of Knightmare, and I quote the loopholes therein found,
From freezing all the dungeon plane to smashing troll kings through the ground.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters necromantical,
I understand enchantments, both the symbol and the canticle,
About my monster theorem I'll illuminate a lot of sights,
With many evil facts about the filthy lairs of cavernwights.

ALL:
With many evil facts about the filthy lairs of cavernwights
With many evil facts about the filthy lairs of cavernwights
With many evil facts about the filthy lairs of cavern- cavern-wights.

LORD FEAR:
I'm very good at setting all the inter-level warding-glyphs;
I know the ancient writings and the Mogdred-Merlin conflict myths:
In short, in matters magical both technical and coarser-er,
I am the very model of a modern Techo-sorcerer.

ALL:
In short, in matters magical both technical and coarser-er,
He is the very model of a modern Techo-sorcerer.

LORD FEAR:
I know our dungeon's founding in the dark days of the Gruagach
I spy on all the dungeoneers and chase them with my great panache
I roast them all with fireballs and I chase them with my evil stare,
I even love to dress as Strange and catch them when they're unaware;
I can tell powerless poser from a mighty-shielded PALADIN,
I hire the dark assasins from the ancient court of Saladin,
I used the mighty flaming rage of schizophrenic Bhel-Shabah,
But I admit that crashing dragon left me with a nasty scar.

ALL:
But he admits that crashing dragon left him with a nasty scar.
But he admits that crashing dragon left him with a nasty scar.
But he admits that crashing dragon left him with a nasty scar.

LORD FEAR:
Then I can write a dungeon scroll in senseless baffling riddle-form,
And tell you ev'ry detail of a polished Frightknight's uniform:
In short, in matters magical both technical and coarser-er,
I am the very model of a modern Techo-sorcerer.

ALL:
In short, in matters magical both technical and coarser-er,
He is the very model of a modern Techo-sorcerer.

LORD FEAR:
In fact, when I know what's the threat from Heggaty and Majida,
When I can tell at once a pooka's wail from that of Elita,
When such affairs as meetings with my henchmen I'm more wary at,
And when I know in Mills of Doom who made that polyhedral bat,
When I have learnt what progress has been made in pools veracity,
When I know more of Treguard's power lock up in words 'Oh Nas-i-ty'--
In short, when I'm applauded for my evil by the world at large,
You'll say a better Techno-sorcerer has never been in charge.

ALL:
You'll say a better Techno-sorcerer has never been in charge.
You'll say a better Techno-sorcerer has never been in charge.
You'll say a better Techno-sorcerer has never been in charge.

LORD FEAR:
For my occult-laden knowledge, though I'm vicious and adventury,
Has only been brought down to my last cry on network ITV;
But still, in matters magical both technical and coarser-er,
I am the very model of a modern Techo-sorcerer.

ALL:
But still, in matters magical both technical and coarser-er,
I am the very model of a modern Techo-sorcerer.



(Long embarrassed pause as they all realise what they've done)

LORD FEAR: All right, not a word! I don't want this getting out.....


(Far away, Treguard watches on his spyglass, and laughs)
What is real?
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