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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 16:53
by HStorm
Okay, I know I've been doing these for years, but I've been toying with the idea for ages of redirecting them at us rather than KM characters. And now I have. Brace yourselves, everybody. Here's what I think WE would give as answers to the ultimate question of chicken, the Universe and Everything. NOTE: No offence meant. These are just jokes, and out of fairness, I've started with one that mocks myself.


Me:  "Chicken cross the road? That's a fabulous idea! Good thinking, Chickenman!"

Kieran:  "#Like a chicken over troubled wateeerr..."

Drassil:  "There's a chicken crossing the road? Hey everybody, let's go and 'CHICK' up on it!"

Moana Liza:  "Because there was no bloody footbridge over the road. Bloody typical. And the council's too bloody cheap to empty the bins more than once a fortnight now. And have you seen the state of my shoes? The soles are worn through and it's all because they won't cough up the money to get the pavements fixed properly. And have you seen the weather report for next Thursday...?"

Me:  "Because it was a chicken from season 6 and they always cross the road, because season 6 was SOOOO predictable!"

SCOTT901:  "WHEN IS KNIGHTMARE GOING TO BE BACK ON CHALLENGE?"

BillyH:  "Is that the chicken from Doctor Who, or a different chicken?"

Emii:  "Because it saw Kiriyama on the other side and wanted his autograph! *DROOLS*"

SCOTT901:  "WHEN IS KNIGHTMARE GOING TO BE BACK ON CHALLENGE?"

Francis306:  "Challenge, could you tell me why the chicken crossed the road... hello? Hello, Challenge? Are you listening to me? Hello?"

Adam Battersby: "LOL! Cos it... LOL!... felt like it! LOL! It wanted to... LOL!... didn't it? LOL!"

SCOTT901:  "WHEN IS KNIGHTMARE GOING TO BE BACK ON CHALLENGE?"

Pooka:  "It was running away from me because it's jealous of me and it won't give me the respect I'm due for building up this community from scratch!"

KaM/RedMage:  "This is a long and bitter tale, sir, but one I shall not shrink from relating. In a nutshell, the avian poultry encountered  an anterior vehicular carriage surface and it is my firm belief that it was a matter of the purest whim that led to its cogitations of impulse and thus motivated its legs to propel from the starting position to the finishing position on the closest opposing vertex of the carriageway. It was a choice of the highest dignity and honour, and we should not question its motives."


Any more?

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 16:57
by Malefact
:D :D :D

I dare you to have a bash at doing me. :)

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 17:01
by HStorm
Malefact:  "*SNIFF* The chicken wasn't just trying to cross the road. Don't you see? It was trying to seek that most elusive quality... a purpose! There is no purpose in life, it's pointless! And in the same way there's no point in crossing the road. *CRIES* And now I'm so upset I think I'll sit up all night listening to depressing music."

Glenn Toogood: "Look it's not MY fault I didn't stop the chicken crossing the road. I didn't have time, I'm at COLLEGE!"

Skarkill: "'Cos she was scared I'd clap me irons on her!

HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE! LOVELY!"

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 17:07
by Malefact
HStorm: OK, guys, think this one is better suited to the backup forum.

;D

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 17:07
by Fidjit
I'm going, so I'll see ye later... Stop, STOP you dratted chicken, STOP!!!

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 17:09
by HStorm
HStorm: OK, guys, think this one is better suited to the backup forum.

;D
;)  Heh heh, love it!

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 17:27
by Malefact
Kessa: Because it couldn't be arsed to stay. Meh.

Snowwiewolf: Myth will know but she's having a break for a long time... She said something about retiring, but I think it was to get to the other side.  ;D *hugs*

Myth appears and breathes blue fire at Mally and freezes him


Roxxy: hehe, to get to the other side! ;D Wahay! Phish food! ;D

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 17:59
by Emii
Lol how dare you all! I'm shocked! And keep Kiri out of this - I'm not always like that! I dare you to think of a better one :P

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 18:02
by HStorm
Um, all right, lemme think.

Okay how about this one...

Emii:  "Because it saw Pickle on the other side and it wanted his autograph. *GLOMPS*"

Better?  :)

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 18:05
by Emii
Lol I suppose if that's the best I;m going to get...:P They're all fine. No worries ;D

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 19:08
by Drassil
It is oddly flattering to be satirised in this way.

The only thing that concerns me is that readers who do not get the references (many of which derive from the subjects' behaviour in online areas outside this Forum) may see 'cliqueness' where there is none. I would like to apologise to anyone who feels like this, and to point out that personal opinion is the nature of satire. I'm sure that anyone who asks for an explanation of any of the remarks will be offered one, privately or otherwise.

I hope there are more of these to come.

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 19:11
by HStorm
Satire is my way of expressing fondness, yes. If my taunts have a nasty edge, then you can assume I don't like you, but if they're just little bits of teasing like (most of) the above, you can assume I'm really just treasuring your eccentricities.

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 20:22
by HStorm
BVA: "Because it had appeared on Dr Who, and it was so embarrassed it wanted to get run over."

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 21:25
by FrightKnight
HStorm (yes, again!): "Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't want to get hen-pecked by Majida. Only joking, Majida...*sigh*  (*Hides behind the sofa*)"

GG: "To run away from festus, of course, dearie. It was his tea, you see."

Games_Master: "I've got no idea about any hidden meanings within this topic, so I'll just reel off a load of chicken puns and cram them all into one sentence, ok? Ahem...because he was egged on by his hen-pecked friends who told him he was chicken and that was no yolk."

Hang on a minute...that last one sounds familiar...

Re: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Posted: 15 Mar 2004, 21:32
by HStorm
No! No no no no no no no no no no no!!! I protest in the strongest possible terms...

It's "*HIDES BEHIND THE SOFA*" that I say, not "*HEART SKIPS A BEAT*".   ;D