Four parodies

[Drassil]

The following is based on As Time Goes By from that famous film, Drassablanca. Official audio

You must remember this
DISMISS is still DISMISS
It's Treguard saying bye
The detrimental things apply
As blades go by

And Series 4 Team 2
The first ones to go through
Not knowing that they'd die
But danger's what the Dungeon brings
As blades go by

Blades in the corridor
Never out of date
Screams of advisors
Team 2 Series 8
Watchers look on, directions come too late
Then Treguard says goodbye

It really can get gory
The game of luck and glory
A case of do or die
The Watchers always welcome Knightmare
As blades go by*

[*Series 8 Short Cuts not included.]

---

Here come the thoughts of an advisor who is determined that his team won't fall foul of the Corridor of Blades - or any other obstacle. Based on Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship. Music video

Lookin' in your eyes I think about the prize
This realm that we've found is too good just to watch
Want us to be right there, want to be on Knightmare
Pursuing a quest that I know we won't botch

Let 'em say we're crazy, I don't care about that
Put the Helm on your head, matey, don't ever turn back
Let the world around us just fall apart
Matey, we can make it if we're heart-to-heart

And we can win this game together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna chop us now
And if the Causeway starts to crumble
We won't take a tumble
Nothing's gonna drop us, nothing's gonna chop us now, whoa no

I'm so glad to guide you, I'm not gonna lose you
Whatever it takes, I will give help to you
Take you to the good guys, see you past the bad guys
Whatever it takes is what we're gonna do

Let 'em say we're crazy, what do they know?
Hold on to the eye shield, matey, don't ever let go
Let the world around us just fall apart
Matey, we can make it if we're heart-to-heart

And we can win this game together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna chop us now
And if the wall becomes a blocker
It won't be a shocker
Nothing's gonna block us, nothing's gonna chop us...

---

[Autumn Of '89 / You Don't Have To Slay A Goblin, originally posted Monday 15 January 2007, 18:40]

This song parody is about Ross' quest in Series 3. Based on Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams. Official music video here.

I got my first real helmet
Hoped to wear it for some time
Treguard put it on my head
It was the autumn of '89

Me and some guys from school
Had a team and we tried real hard
Gavin Twigg, Fu Wang and Sharsad
I said, "ya know, we're gonna get far"

Oh when I look back now
That autumn seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah, I'd always wanna be there
Those were the quest days of my life

Ain't no use in complainin'
While the Greater Game is played
Rolled a die, entered a portal
And then I met the maid

Standin' on a trapdoor floor
She told me that I'd won her favour
Oh and when she fell right down
I wondered if I had to save 'er
Those were the quest days of my life

Back in the autumn of '89

Man we were doin' well
We were clever questors
We knew when to dispel
I guess nothin' can last forever, forever, no

And then the times got harder
Met Morghanna and her axe was strong
Sometimes when I'm watching my Knightmares
I think of Melly, wonder what went wrong

Standin' on a trapdoor floor
She told me that I'd won her favour
Oh and when she fell right down
I wondered if I had to save 'er
Those were the quest days of my life

Back in the autumn of '89

---

Here is this thread's [as was] second parody of Dusty Springfield's You Don't Have To Say You Love Me. Lord Fear is explaining what he expects of Lissard. Official audio

When I said I needed you
Didn't know you'd look like this
You are a slimy seneschal
And my, you stink of fish
Don't you see that now you're here
In the employ of Lord Fear
That you have to follow me
And grant my every wish

You don't have to slay a goblin
Just be mean to Hands
You don't have to stay forever
Two years would be grand
Believe me, believe me
I can't help but loathe you
Don't deceive me
Or Hands will tie you down

Here in my Pool of Veracity
Misbehave and I will see
So obey my orders and
Of course suck up to me

You don't have to slay a goblin
Just be mean to Hands
You don't have to stay forever
Two years would be grand
Believe me, believe me...