Knightmare.com

eg/ Lord Fear dressed as Batman, Lissard as Robin...

...Festus.

An assasin dressed in a white cloak...

Morghanna or Malice or Aesandre wearing a short skirt and high heels!  ;D

I dunno, all villianesses in KM seem to wear black from top to bottom!

Whose bottom?

You would never see fast food in the dungeon.

Funny you should say that... The first Knightmare gamebook (Can You Beat The Challenge?) quite pointedly features a hamburger as a food source during one of the quests, with the quotation, 'Yes, there's even junk food in the dungeon!' or similar.  ::)

But how about this?

Advisor: OK, just to your left is a plate of salmon en croute with new potatoes, can you see it?

Dungeoneer: Yeah, but it isn't coated in puff pastry. Yuck. I'm not touching it.

Advisor: You don't actually eat it, you just, like, put it in the bag.

Dungeoneer: La la la, I'm sidestepping right and walking forward...

Technically that is something you wouldn't hear rather than wouldn't see, but hopefully it paints a picture...  :)

All these are things you'd hope not to see. If you did, you'd have to sidestep to your right onto the psychiatrist's couch pretty darn quickly.

Hordriss in a hula-skirt.
Smirkanorff in suspenders. (Okay, it takes some imagination, I know.)
Grimadine in a garter.
Pickle in panties. ("although I don't know...")
Bumptious in a bra.
Nemanor in knickers. (Were there ever "Knightmare Knickers" when the marketers when mad, I wonder...)
Treguard in a tutu. ("Oh God, my eyes, my lovely eyes, please take the image away...")

Oh, I do like being alliterative today.

Hmm, other things you'd rather not see...

Elita? Not in any particularly unfetching costume, just Elita really.

Hmm, other things you'd rather not see...

Elita? Not in any particularly unfetching costume, just Elita really.

Elita is offensive! Elita is DEEPLY offensive! (sorry, too much Series 2 lately)

ETA: You are also a faceache and a slagrat, so there!

Moving on. You wouldn't see a hot-pink Haunting, Sidriss getting magic right or Goblins having an intelligent conversation about symbolism in Shakespeare.

Or Brother Mace at Alcoholics Anonymous.

lagrat

ETA: You are also a faceache and a slagrat, so there!

Dearie, that's so rude. Festus, some little elvish ***** is insulting Mummy again. Fetch!

Or Brother Mace at Alcoholics Anonymous.

Or Brother Strange at a book signing, since no publisher in their right mind would buy the rights to his boring old book of proverbs. Muhahaha.

Or any of us.  ;D

A teetotal Sylvester Hands anyone?  ;)

Scarkill in a leotard.

Sylvester Hands in a dinner jacket.

Brother Strange's face.

A close-up of Mrs. G.

Lord Fear letting a team use a spyglass for as long as they wish....

A team side stepping off the edge and living. Well done team you found the "hidden" path

Barry being the boatman - silence!!
  Sidriss getting spells correct, her at motley getting it together!