They would never say...

For all the comedians out there.
Post Reply
Lord_Bob

Re: They would never say...

Post by Lord_Bob » Sat Nov 08, 2003 9:57 pm

Lol that 1 was funny ;D

Dunshelm
Dungeoneer
Dungeoneer
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 12:00 am

Re: They would never say...

Post by Dunshelm » Sun Nov 09, 2003 12:43 am

Treguard: Congratulations team You have found the cup!

No...that'd never happen...
- A distinctly magical fashion and therefore somewhat unreliable

User avatar
JamesA
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1514
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:33 am
Location: London

Re: They would never say...

Post by JamesA » Wed Nov 12, 2003 11:45 pm

Anyhoo, back to current affairs:

Smirkenorff (to dungeoneer)
"Would you like a ride to Level 2 with me pretending to be very disorientated and drunk along the way? I do it so much better than those chaps at British Airways."
James Aukett
Creator of the Knightmare: 25th Anniversary Documentary

MoanaLiza
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 2202
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2003 9:48 pm
Location: The Hundred Acre Wood near Winnie The Pooh :)
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by MoanaLiza » Wed Nov 12, 2003 11:58 pm

D: Where am I?
A: You're in a room and in the middle of the room there is a table. Can you see the table?
D: Yeah!
A: Can you walk towards it please?
(Dungeoneer walks towards it. On reaching the table) Can you go around it to the other side please? (walks around it) What's on the table?
D: There's bar of gold, a key, a red gemstone and a loaf of bread!
A: Put the bread in your knapsack
D: But I can't though
A: Why not?
D: Cuz I'm on the Atkins Diet!


(Different quest)
A: Infront of you on a small square table with a very large cup with ribbons on either side of it.
T: Not just any cup but the cup
A: Yes thee cup! Can you see it?
D: Yes!
A: Can you walk towards it?
D: Yes! (walks towards the table) The ribbons appear the have something writton on them!
A: Can you read what it says then?
D: Yes, they say Carling on them!...
Last edited by MoanaLiza on Wed Nov 12, 2003 11:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The Forum Moana and chief honey pot carrier!
"Come and take a gander at this bit of ugliness"

ajw68
Dungeoneer
Dungeoneer
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2003 9:18 pm

Re: They would never say...

Post by ajw68 » Sun Nov 16, 2003 9:33 pm

Treguard: Aaahhh its the sword pickle.
Pickle: THE sword master?
Treguard: Yes, the dungeoneers have recovered the sword from Lord Fear.  I am now going to use it on my face.
Pickle: Master?!!
Treguard: Its Wilkinson sword pickle - I'm meeting a hooker tonight in the back of the Anglia studios, so I need to shave for first time in 20 years.  I'm off to Marks and Sparks as well to get some new clothes - I'm sick of wearing this cloak all the time.
 
 

Lord_Bob

Re: They would never say...

Post by Lord_Bob » Sun Nov 16, 2003 9:40 pm

In the future there will be Knightmare.....
Ye Olde Treguard: Enter, Stranger
Martin: I'm no stranger its me Martin from S3 come for another go!
Ye Olde Treguard:Well I am a bit senile now so your all strangers
Martin: Arent you supposed to ask something?
Ye Olde Treguard: Erm Do you have any money?
Martin: No my name, which is Martin, and for me to call my advisor. *advisors appear* And here they are
Ye Olde Treguard: Ah, nevermind boys, you played well but the dungeon defeated you. spellcasting "D-I-S-S-M-I-S-S"
*Advisors disappear*
Martin: What the...? You old fool
Ye Olde Treguard: No I am afraid Merlin isnt here at the moment. Now if you could go then Pickle was about to give me a sponge bath!

MPK
Level 3 Dungeoneer
Level 3 Dungeoneer
Posts: 280
Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2003 9:01 pm
Location: Nottingham

Re: They would never say...

Post by MPK » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:10 pm

After Lord Fear personally kills someone in the final chamber, he suddenly bursts out into song!

"I Feel Pretty,
Oh so pretty,
I Feel Pretty and witty and bright.." etc

Then from out of nowhere Lissard appears and goes;

" La la la la la la laaaaaaa, la la la la la la laaaaaaa!"
Once again returning... and once again going just as fast!
http://www.abadeducation.com

ajw68
Dungeoneer
Dungeoneer
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2003 9:18 pm

Re: They would never say...

Post by ajw68 » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:16 pm

After Lord Fear personally kills someone in the final chamber, he suddenly bursts out into song!

"I Feel Pretty,
Oh so pretty,
I Feel Pretty and witty and bright.." etc

Then from out of nowhere Lissard appears and goes;

" La la la la la la laaaaaaa, la la la la la la laaaaaaa!"
Suddenly, from the shower, scargill screams: "that was uvly"

ajw68
Dungeoneer
Dungeoneer
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2003 9:18 pm

Re: They would never say...

Post by ajw68 » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:18 pm

Treguard to Lord Fear: "Fancy a drink in the Red Lion me old mate?  By the way I've got your packet of Worthers originals in my passenger door somewhere...."

Lord_Bob

Re: They would never say...

Post by Lord_Bob » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:21 pm

Series 1, Team 1
Advisors: Ok your in a room with a table and their are some objects on it, walk towards it
Dungeoneer: Ok the objects are a tax audit and other forms, an ink well and a quill and some reading glasses.
Treguard: Oh no team! The fiendish puzzle of the table of tax!
*Advisors and Dungeoneer work out the tax forms and complete it just as life force becomes critical*
Treguard: Well done team, you've done my taxes! Muwahahahha. You see their never was anything called Knightmare, i just hate doing taxes.
*Runs away laughing*

FrightKnight
Knight
Knight
Posts: 600
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2003 12:22 am
Location: Doom Fortress
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by FrightKnight » Mon Nov 17, 2003 12:56 am

Series 8, team 6...in the Fireball Alley.

Treguard: Oh look, team, it's the short cut to level 3...
Dunstan: Stuff this. If I'm going to win the quest I'm going to do it fair and square. Where's the exit for level 2?
"A rotting pie! Oh no, I'm dead!"

User avatar
JamesA
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1514
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:33 am
Location: London

Re: They would never say...

Post by JamesA » Tue Nov 18, 2003 9:44 pm

Brother Mace:
"No more ale please - I've gone teetotal"  :D ;D
James Aukett
Creator of the Knightmare: 25th Anniversary Documentary

Lord_Bob

Re: They would never say...

Post by Lord_Bob » Tue Nov 18, 2003 11:17 pm

Barry: I'm a lll-ittle nevvrous cooming on here soo if i faiil pplease ddont be too mad. Tttreguard

Drassil
Senior Staff
Senior Staff
Posts: 2197
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2003 3:01 pm
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil » Wed Nov 19, 2003 3:42 pm

Forgive my ignorance, but could someone please explain who Barry is, and why he is so significant? I'm assuming that he was an unusually talkative Dungeoneer from one of the later series. Thank you in advance.

Julie is mentioned a lot on this Forum too, but fortunately I remember who she is!
Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.

Fidjit
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1913
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 10:27 am
Location: Isle of Wight

Re: They would never say...

Post by Fidjit » Wed Nov 19, 2003 3:52 pm

"Say hello to the gobins Jule and ask if they'd like a present..."

That is a daft thing to say really... Especially when you know that the goblins are going to beat, stab and hack you to death...

If I were them I'd hurl the emerald at them...
Anyway, back to business...
LORD FEAR: Let's be friends...!
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? :-/

Post Reply