Knightmare.com

Elita's mouth is so big that when she coughed one day she produced the whole contents of the Sewers of Goth.

And Elita's mouth is so filthy Lissard and the Miremen treat is as a home from home.

Elita's mouth is so big and foul, after eating she has to pick the goblins out with a pitchfork...

I'm not saying that Elita's mouth is big, but when she went to treat a mouth ulcer once, I heard Bumptious' voice coming from inside saying "We'll need a lot more powder here..."

GG: Sorry, meant no offence. If you want, I'll put a bucket on my head, wear my old paperboy's bag, hold a twig and a jar of jam in my hands and offer to find you a spell...

Elita's mouth is so big that it recently tried transporting a thousand asylum seekers  :D

So when I told Lissard that Raptor was to take over his job, he was green with envy  ;D

Elita's mouth is so big that Tim Child originally hired her not to act, but to store all the props, costumes and equipment in her gob.

Elita's mouth is so big and foul, after eating she has to pick the goblins out with a pitchfork...

LOL.

I'm not saying that Elita's mouth is big, but when she went to treat a mouth ulcer once, I heard Bumptious' voice coming from inside saying "We'll need a lot more powder here..."

GG: Sorry, meant no offence. If you want, I'll put a bucket on my head, wear my old paperboy's bag, hold a twig and a jar of jam in my hands and offer to find you a spell...

Between Emii, Debz and Ark's posts, I always seem to be laughing. Well, Ark, even though I wasn't really offended, an UNBINDING spell would be helpful. Or if you're feeling lazy, a bone for Festus would do.

What have I started here!? I go away for a couple of weeks and this thread descends into a flood of generic big-mouth jokes! Good job I'm back with a sixth joke...

Man: Doctor, Doctor, I've watched Knightmare so much I'm suffering from hallucenations.

Doctor: Ooh, nasty!

#7:

Q: Why is it so hard to get an interview with former Knightmare contestants?

A: Because they're always sidestepping the questions.

#8:

Q: What do you call a dungeon master who protects the royal kitchen from intruders?

A: Tray guard.

Between Emii, Debz and Ark's posts, I always seem to be laughing. Well, Ark, even though I wasn't really offended, an UNBINDING spell would be helpful. Or if you're feeling lazy, a bone for Festus would do.

Er...well, it seemed like a good idea at the time! You know, combining a large bone with an RELEASER spell to release your two sides, the best of both worlds? Unfortunately, I kind of mis-spelt the spell name, and...

*slams shut a door when a couple of bones stick out, all yelling things like "Faceache" and "Dragon Droppings"*

Dammit...how could I spell it RE-ELITA? Erm, could you call back? This could take a while...

*enters the room armed with a BAG spell and several rolls of duct tape...*

LOL. Must think of more Elita jokes. *thinking cap on*

I thought of branching out into more Sidriss jokes, but can't think of any. So if anyone can finish the line, "Sidriss is so stupid..." please fire away.