Knightmare.com

"I'm going to smack you like a first grade teacher, and hit you with a steamroller!!"

A puff of pink smoke and Semtex Jack appears his back turned to his quarry!

"Hah, Jacks Back" Turns around to reveal a sharpened Gladioli....

"Well hello! Oh you don't seem that bad really! Here have some cake before I eviscerate you....what? It's what I get paid for!!"

Who is that, sprinting amidst the wasteland! It is MM, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! She grunts vengefully:

"I'm going to smash you all the way to Wiener Neudorf, and throw you out the airplane door!!"

For my character on Surrounds.

Yea, verily: Who is that, prowling across the candy store! It is Midnight, hands clutching a reflective halberd! She grunts apocalyptically:

"By Odin's mighty spear, I sow darkness and discord like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage!!"

For the Festive season: "I'm gonna stuff coal so far up your stocking, you'll be coughing up diamonds!"

Running on the desert, carrying a bladed baseball bat, cometh Simiano! And he gives a gutteral roar:

"In the name of malice, I will bend the enemy to my wicked will!!"

I knew i was always meant for evil

Hark! Who is that, running amidst the cliffs! It is DYLMP, hands clutching a burning branch! And with a bloodthirsty howl, his voice cometh:

"I'm seriously going to bruise you all the way to Wackersdorf!!"

Wasn't that the name of one of the villages in Series 8?

Running on the mini-mall parking lot, brandishing a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Harvey Towers! And he gives a spectacular grunt:

"I'm seriously going to contort you until you spontaneously degenerate!!"

Hahahaha!!!

I can't quite believe how fitting mine is...

Sprinting out of the cliffs, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using two hardened pitas, cometh Phoenix! And she gives a mighty grunt:

"I'm going to contort you into the stuff of nightmares!"

I gave it another try, but mine just aren't all that good...

Who is that, skulking along the fields! It is Marc, hands clutching a meaty axe! And with a low howl, his voice cometh:

"In the name of Thor the Mighty, I look forward to hearing the lamentations of thy women!!"

see?

Yea, verily: Who is that, striding along the mini-mall parking lot! It is Billy, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! He cries apocalyptically:

"I'm going to punch you like a wrecking ball, and trade you for a candy bar!"

Superb!