Re:Knightmare Limericks

[Thanatos]

In my view, the poem must rhyme and scan properly, and the English language may be mutilated in the alteration of words stress, spelling and/or pronunciation to see that it does. Examples:

"Her English is too good," he said, "which clearly indicates that she is foreign.
Whereas others are instructed in their native language, English people aren'."
- Alan Jay Lerner, My Fair Lady

If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er,
Tell her what Tony told Cleopatara.
- Cole Porter, Kiss Me, Kate

It's a scheme of devices, to get at low prices all goods from cough mixtures to cables
(Which tickled the sailors), by treating retailers as though they were all vegetables.
- W. S. Gilbert, Iolanthe

Anyway:

Said Lillith, "Good gracious!"

[dontyoulikemypie]

And of course, the Frosties jingle:

"They're gonna taste gray-ate with Tony your may-ate,
Everyone knows Frosties tay-aste gray-ate,
Even ladies who way-ate, or a pi-ray-ate."

[dontyoulikemypie]

To continue this thread, I've picked the more compelling option. Mainly 'cos the fact that I've left it in inverted commas implies something smutty!

While Lillith sat counting her sweeties,
A Goblin pinched one of her 'treaties'

She tugged on her lever...

[Drassil]

I know this thread is for fun, but using a word that doesn't really rhyme, nor really exist, takes away the element of challenge, which for me is part of the fun. So could I please suggest changing 'Cheeks's' to 'treaties'?

Bzzzzzarp!

Assuming that's meant to indicate a wrong-answer buzzer, surely there are politer ways to express a disagreement with another forum member? If I've assumed wrongly, I apologise.

What else rhymes with "axes" anyway?

Flaxes, axis, praxis, parataxis, climaxes, relaxes.

Talking of smut...

To continue this thread, I've picked the more compelling option. Mainly 'cos the fact that I've left it in inverted commas implies something smutty!

While Lillith sat counting her sweeties,
A Goblin pinched one of her 'treaties'

She tugged on her lever...

Personally, I was content with Thanatos' line. So if no one minds, I'm going to use it as the basis for making a complete limerick, leaving the next contributor to follow on from the alternative 'lever' line if they wish.

While Lillith sat counting her sweeties,
A goblin pinched one of her treaties.
Said Lillith, "Good gracious!
That treaty's fallacious:
It spells my name 'Littith', with three tees."

[Thanatos]

And another:

Said Skarkill to Hands, "Do you think...

[Billy]

"...you've had too much to drink?"

[Drassil]

Said Skarkill to Hands, "Do you think
That you have had too much to drink?"
Although Sly tried quibbling

[Turaga Nuju]

It didn't help his dribbling,

[Mashibinbin]

Said Skarkill to Hands, "Do you think
That you have had too much to drink?"
Although Sly tried quibbling
It didn't help his dribbling,
"LOVELY!" grinned Skarkill with a wink.

[Granitas Is Cute]

When Lord Fear fell into his pool,

[Drassil]

[When the previous post in this thread was made, after so long, I was worried that the forum was too quiet for another limerick to take off, and a gap of nearly three months seems to support that. But if we can just get this current one finished, we'll have 67, and it will be an appropriate time for this formerly popular thread to 'retire' and be moved to the Klassic Discussion archive.]

When Lord Fear fell into his pool,
He felt it veraciously cruel

[Eyeshield]

When Lord Fear fell into his pool,
He felt it veraciously cruel.
Old blobs of nail varnish
Made his helmet tarnish,
(He stuck his hand in there, the fool!)

There, now you can archive it

[Akerbie]

KNIGHTMARE LIMERICK CORNER

The dungeon was open once more,
For commence of a quest as before,
The fire would burn,
But if they take a wrong turn,
They'll fall through a hole in the floor!

Level One was full of clues,
And many items to use,
Decisions to make,
And directions to take,
With plenty bombs with a lit fuse!

And so now we are in Level 2,
Where the dangers are waiting for you,
With a starving lifeforce,
You need food of course,
And some magic to help see you through!

Arrival in Level 3,
Where the undead roam around free,
Before imminent demise,
Spellcasting is wise,
I surely hope you agree!

The end of the quest is near,
With one final obstacle here,
With the Shield in your sight,
To protect you from fight,
It won't protect you from fear!

The end of your quest is a mess,
Where you make a mistake in distress,
The death is so ghastly,
Treguard says "Nasty",
D.I.S......M.I.S.S.

[dontyoulikemypie]

Ooh, nice to see this thread lasted a little while longer anyway! Been AGES since I last visited.

[Akerbie]

Great thread, though I should use it more often!