Knightmare.com

Lillith: "Oh, I've turned down simply hundreds of offers. What? No, not ALL of them were to play a Wicked Stepmother. I thought I needed a break, that was all. And may I take this opportunity to say the rumours about my humbug addiction after I was sacked- I mean, after I decided there was little more the show could offer me as a performer- are completely untrue. [*moves to stand in front of a cupboard filled with half-empty jars and pushes the doors shut*] And yes, I am working again now in a highly fulfilling role. Every day after filming of The Weakest Link I leave the BBC Studios dressed in her clothes and [*just managing to restrain the tears*] get pelted with vegetables and rocks from all the angry contestants and members of the public, so she can escape safely. What's that? No, my teeth aren't gritted. I really enjoy the role, I do." [*lip quivers as she turns and grabs a humbug jar and eagerly rummages inside*]  

You've been reading my site too much!

You've been reading my site too much!

Hmm, in all honesty, I haven't read anything like that there. If it is there, we've evidently come up the something like the same idea separately.

No I'm just talking about the general tone. I'm a bad influence.

No I'm just talking about the general tone. I'm a bad influence.

Oh, I see. I think a lot of use use that tone anyway, teehee.

That's true actually. It's probably Lord F we get it from, all of us.

Makes me feel right at home!  ;D

Pickle: "Well after KM, I tried going to Panto as Peter Pan, but they said they didn't like the pointed ears look, so I auditioned for numerous Vulcans for Star Trek. But they said the actors wore false ears, and the eyebrows were artificial as well. They thought that I looked a little too real for the roles!
Then I thought we all hit it big a couple of years back. Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter was in development. A whole load of old KM veterans went down there to audition; Merlin (Gandalf/Dumbledore), Treguard (Sirius Black), Hordriss (Saruman), Sidriss, even Fatilla auditioned for Hagrid! I would have had the role of Frodo or Legolas easily, but when they came to accept me, well......they wanted my name! So I told them to "Bog Off, you're not having my name! Stick your Frodo role in the Woods for all I care!"
Next thing I know, Elijah Wood became Frodo!!!! How, I will never know!

Julius: Well, after I left the dungeon then I had a serious alcohol addiction and I was at the centre of a Trading Standards investigation into some blackmarket potions, so after that had finished I decided it was time to make an honest living so I founded a potatoe farm in Hull.

Raptor: Well After The work for his Lordness Dried up I went back to Pirateing but because of me reputation from the dungon for incompetance no one would have me on there ship.

So I now Be running a Inn on a dock called "The Spirt Of Dead Dungeoneers."

The Miremen make good waiters.

Goblin: Well, believe it or not there isn't really a lot of jobs that require goblins besides dungeoneer extermination. So we were obviously very angry to find the series ended. In fact Tiny ate several cameramen. we do childrens parties now and the occasional Knightmare fan convention. Good stuff I suppose but the KM days were always the best.

*Casper The Key was unavalable for comment as following his deparure from Knightmare in Series 2, He was melted down and turned in to a door knocker.*

SAY IT AGAIN, SKARKILL!!! PLEASE!!! You're reviving my faith in the world! Say it again! Say it, say it, SAY IIIIIITTT!!!!!!

Say What agine?

OH You Meen.

"Following His Depature From Knightmare in S2 Casper The Key was melted down and turned into a door Knocker."

Thanks, just the thought of the annihilation of that little squit will help me get up in the mornings!

And congratulations for crossing the threshold, fellow knight.

What.

Oh yer I hadn't noticed.

Hmmmm....... Sir Skarkill.


Got a nice ring to it don't it.


"HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHE..........LOVELY."