They would never say...

For all the comedians out there.
Post Reply
Emii
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1556
Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2002 5:07 pm
Location: Aberystwyth
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by Emii » Wed Nov 19, 2003 6:57 pm

Lord Fear: I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!!
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"

MoanaLiza
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 2202
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2003 9:48 pm
Location: The Hundred Acre Wood near Winnie The Pooh :)
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by MoanaLiza » Wed Nov 19, 2003 10:55 pm

"Say hello to the gobins Jule and ask if they'd like a present..."

That is a daft thing to say really... Especially when you know that the goblins are going to beat, stab and hack you to death...
Unless of course they were called Chris.

LF to Lissard: Aaaaahhhh your breath smells really nice and fresh. Have you been into those dragon mints? Well atleast those pesky dungeoneers can't get them if you have.
Last edited by MoanaLiza on Wed Nov 19, 2003 10:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The Forum Moana and chief honey pot carrier!
"Come and take a gander at this bit of ugliness"

Drassil
Senior Staff
Senior Staff
Posts: 2043
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2003 3:01 pm
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil » Thu Nov 20, 2003 5:43 pm

Forgive my ignorance, but could someone please explain who Barry is, and why he is so significant?
Please?

In return, you can read this:

Dungeoneer: 'Treguard, would you like to do this quest instead?'
Treguard: 'No, you go.'
Dungeoneer: 'Hugo, would you like to do this quest instead?'
Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.

Emii
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1556
Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2002 5:07 pm
Location: Aberystwyth
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by Emii » Thu Nov 20, 2003 5:56 pm

Right, Drassil - see Barry Topic
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"

User avatar
JamesA
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1510
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:33 am
Location: London

Re: They would never say...

Post by JamesA » Sat Nov 22, 2003 12:14 am

Any dungeoneer featured in the last team of the series (except Barry, of course):

"What's the point of me going on a quest if you know there's no chance that I will have enough time to complete it?"
James Aukett
Creator of the Knightmare: 25th Anniversary Documentary

Fidjit
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1910
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 10:27 am
Location: Isle of Wight

Re: They would never say...

Post by Fidjit » Mon Nov 24, 2003 11:05 am

Elita: Since you have no use of that stone you might as well hand it over...

Dungeoneer: Sod off! I've heard enough about your mouth already...
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? :-/

ajw68
Dungeoneer
Dungeoneer
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2003 9:18 pm

Re: They would never say...

Post by ajw68 » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:02 pm

Dungeoneer gets killed all of a sudden by Hitler

Treguard: Ooohhhh, Nazi!

Drassil
Senior Staff
Senior Staff
Posts: 2043
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2003 3:01 pm
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:19 pm

emii wrote: Right, Drassil - see Barry Topic
Thank you! :)


A Dungeoneer has died. Treguard is about to send the Team on its way, when a squad of cheerleaders (including Mellisandre, Gretel, Elita and Velda) cartwheel in and begin to chant:

'Oh dear you have lost the quest
Time to go back to Skegness
Gimme a D!
Give me an I!
Gimme and S!... and M!
Give me another I!
Gimme and S!
Gimme another S!
What does it spell?
Diiiiiiiis-miss! Woo!'

Treguard: 'Ladies, if you don't mind...'

Pickle: 'I rather like them, Master.'

Treguard: 'No-one asked you, Pickle.'
Last edited by Drassil on Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.

Malefact
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1554
Joined: Tue Nov 19, 2002 11:59 am
Location: Essex

Re: They would never say...

Post by Malefact » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:26 pm

Treguard to Pickle: "Right! That's Mayfair AND Park Lane that I now own. I'm gonna open up a can of whoop-ass on your sorry hide!" :)
Subject to change.

Drassil
Senior Staff
Senior Staff
Posts: 2043
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2003 3:01 pm
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:27 pm

Dungeoneer: '...And there's a scroll on the table.'

Advisor: 'OK, read it then.'

Dungeoneer: 'It says... Stop Bush.'

[Pause]

Advisor: 'Alright, take the silver, and the topiary potion.'

***

Dungeoneer: 'There's a spyglass.'

Advisor: 'Look through it.'

[Michael Howard appears in the spyglass.]

Treguard: 'Ah, Team, this is the leader of the Opposition, for this phase at least. And, rather fittingly, he is rumoured to have something of the frightknight about him.'

Pickle: 'Wasn't it Mrs. Grimwold who said that?'

Howard [looking into his crystal ball]: 'Scargill? Scargill! Where are you?'
Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.

Malefact
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1554
Joined: Tue Nov 19, 2002 11:59 am
Location: Essex

Re: They would never say...

Post by Malefact » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:30 pm

Hehe, excellent! :)
Subject to change.

User avatar
JamesA
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1510
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:33 am
Location: London

Re: They would never say...

Post by JamesA » Mon Nov 24, 2003 11:26 pm

The England rugby team enter the dungeon.

"We've done it! We won the cup - oh, wait a minute, this isn't an Australian rugby pitch...."
James Aukett
Creator of the Knightmare: 25th Anniversary Documentary

Drassil
Senior Staff
Senior Staff
Posts: 2043
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2003 3:01 pm
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil » Tue Nov 25, 2003 7:23 pm

Treguard: The book, Pickle.

Pickle: Yes, Master. 'Jill stared with thrilled joy into Doug's eyes, turning the air in the boudoir to pure bliss. This, for a day or a decade, was love. As their beating hearts hammered out a treaty of mutual happiness, he slowly took...'

Treguard: No no, Pickle, the other book. The one with the quests?

Pickle: Oh. Of course.

***
Treguard: "Yes, Pickle, while the advisors are frozen by Temporal Disruption, let's amuse ourselves by putting them in silly poses and using them as coat racks... [*turns to camera and the Watchers at home*] ... Oh, you're still here? Gosh, what are you still watching this tripe for? There was something good on Children's BBC too. Anyway, don't bother tuning in next week since I'm giving up this crappy job and going to Benidorm with Mellisandre and opening my own tattoo parlour. [*puts on summer hat and exits*]
And when Treguard gets there, he strokes the paella out his beard, looks out over the water and sighs, 'Ooooh... vast sea.'

***

[A Dungeoneer got attacked by Ariadne whilst a spell was being cast, and the Team lost. Outside the TV studio, Hugo Myatt bids them farewell.]

HM: 'Goodbye, Team. Sorry about the spider bite. I hope it's not too serious.'

Former Dungeoneer: 'It's OK, Mr. Myatt. I don't feel ill. I'm sure it's fine. Bye. [He shoots web fluid from his wrist and swings away.]
Last edited by Drassil on Sat Jun 11, 2005 1:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.

FrightKnight
Knight
Knight
Posts: 600
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2003 12:22 am
Location: Doom Fortress
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by FrightKnight » Wed Nov 26, 2003 12:19 am

Gwendoline the Greenwarden to one of the teams in s5:

"Well, you only got 1 out of three, but you were trying hard and you have the arrow, so I'll just take it and won't kill you. I'll leave that to the blocker."

And another team to brother Mace in s5:

"Prove that you are a monk."
Brother mace: "Oh, alright, you've got me. I'm not. I am in fact an actor wearing a costume. Happy now?"
"A rotting pie! Oh no, I'm dead!"

Drassil
Senior Staff
Senior Staff
Posts: 2043
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2003 3:01 pm
Contact:

Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil » Wed Nov 26, 2003 6:34 pm

Ariadne: 'Incy wincy human, came into Level One, down came the spider, and bit him on the... oh, the Dungeoneer's run off. I was too slow. Again.'
Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests