Goblins

For all the comedians out there.
Post Reply
Picklemyfav
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2016 2:01 pm

Goblins

Post by Picklemyfav » Tue Apr 12, 2016 12:45 pm

Anyone got any tips on how to raise goblins?

Just found a six month old goblin who has no parents and likes to raid the cupboards for food. I call him Ravenous and that seems to be his name. Its his nature as well. I found him not in a dark and spooky dungeon but annoying some folk in a fast food restaurant by stealing handfuls of chips from them. Cheeky little Goblin then grabbed onto my bag and held on tight. Luckily i knew what he was having seen pictures of Goblins from Knightmare and gently talking to him calmed him down. Just sang roll roll roll your boat as well and he just relaxed allowing me to take him to safety in a piggy back. He likes piggy backs. He now thinks i am his mum and slept beside me in my bed last night. This might be the reason for my weird dream about elves last night.

What do goblins like to eat/drink? Chips, cakes and biscults can't be healthy for him.
What things should i watch out for? Behaviour wise? Normal behaviour?
What happens when he grows up? Do i let him go back to the wild or train him?
How do you train a goblin? Is it ok to let him sleep in my bed or what?
Cedric kneed down close to my helmet so i could see him and told me.
"You're not witless. You're just nice. Too nice really for your own good. That's your main problem."

Picklemyfav
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2016 2:01 pm

Re: Goblins

Post by Picklemyfav » Wed Apr 13, 2016 9:58 am

Update. 13TH APRIL 2016

Ravenous loves apple pie as told by the fact he ate half of a family sized one for his breakfast. He loves bacon as well as he just ate a whole pack of bacon that my mum was going to use to make bacon sandwiches for her lunch. He ate it raw by the way with the apple pie. Apple goes quite well with pork it seems. He is sleeping on my lap as i type this.
He is about two feet tall and is a muddy green colour. Ravenous told me he was six months old when i rescued him from the two shouting men in mds in Glasgow yesterday.

He had a couple of handfuls of rice and a couple of chicken poppets for dinner then a couple of muffins. The tiny ones in the packet.

Wonder what mischief Ravenous will get up to today? Goblins are..... from what little i have found online....... very naughty. :D

Hope my home insurance covers damage by goblins. ;D
Cedric kneed down close to my helmet so i could see him and told me.
"You're not witless. You're just nice. Too nice really for your own good. That's your main problem."

Picklemyfav
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2016 2:01 pm

Re: Goblins

Post by Picklemyfav » Wed Apr 13, 2016 11:09 am

Well...... Ravenous woke up 20 minutes ago and went into the bathroom to get a drink of water....... :P and left the tap running...... Luckily for us he didn't put the plug in. :D Just found this out when i went to the loo just now.
He's like a two year old wean. I'll need eyes in the back of my head with him. ;D ;)

Any tips for entertaining him folks? ;) I'm going to have to teach him to read or draw by the look of it.
Cedric kneed down close to my helmet so i could see him and told me.
"You're not witless. You're just nice. Too nice really for your own good. That's your main problem."

Picklemyfav
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2016 2:01 pm

Re: Goblins

Post by Picklemyfav » Wed Apr 13, 2016 11:41 am

Ravenous is raiding the board games in the cupboard. He's wreaked the Monopoly game and an old Jigsaw already. The Jigsaw now has half the pieces missing and Monopoly has been involved in a housing crash. All the houses and money has been taken from the box by him.
On a plus note he is playing with the Mouse Trap game quite happily. :D

I think goblins are more intelligent then that website i found online makes out. ;)
Cedric kneed down close to my helmet so i could see him and told me.
"You're not witless. You're just nice. Too nice really for your own good. That's your main problem."

Picklemyfav
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2016 2:01 pm

Re: Goblins

Post by Picklemyfav » Wed Apr 13, 2016 1:45 pm

Just played shops with Ravenous using the monopoly money as notes and the houses as coins. We used the cans that were in the cupboard. He picked it up very quickly. He then raided my piggy bank and played shops with my real money. Don't worry folks. I made sure he put it back when he got bored. Same for the cans in the cupboard.
He has tided up the mouse trap game and i think i've picked up and found the last of the jigsaw pieces.
Have learned that he makes seagull squarks EEEEEEKKKKK when he's scared and purring sounds when calm. He says rrraaaa like a baby lion when i tickle him. He likes being cuddled gently but only if you allow him to hold you as you cuddle him. I know that he likes it then because that is when he purrs like a fluffy pussycat on your lap.
I share these sounds in case others know more about what they mean!
I assume he is a normal baby goblin. If anyone knows what normal is for a baby goblin.
How long do goblins take to grow up anyway? Anyone know? Skarkill might know if anyone can find him? How long do goblins live? How many young do they have at a time?
Cedric kneed down close to my helmet so i could see him and told me.
"You're not witless. You're just nice. Too nice really for your own good. That's your main problem."

Picklemyfav
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Level 2 Dungeoneer
Posts: 190
Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2016 2:01 pm

Re: Goblins

Post by Picklemyfav » Thu Apr 14, 2016 5:08 pm

Last night Ravenous raided the cupboards again and ate all the cakes and kinder eggs and my dad had to get some more cakes for mum this morning. And more kinder eggs of course. i made sure he helped put the shopping away.... by away i mean in the cupboards and not in his belly.

Got him a new top with a blue robot on it. It has a blue hood on it as well as blue sleeves. Also a clean pair of trousers that are a tanned brown colour with a blue band on the waistline. Ravenous loves the new look.

Took him to the pub for a pub lunch with me to keep him out of mischief and make sure he didn't raid the cupboard again and found that a funeral tea was taking place at the same time.
I looked at him and told him to behave.
He behaved and in the semi darkness of the pub had a slice of cake and a couple of caramel shortbreads before he found the cherry and raisin scones. and raided them. Luckily for him noone in the pub liked them and fed him full of scones. They thought he was a hungry two year old human. I told them he was a rare monkey as they wouldn't believe that goblins were real.
I mean wouldn't you say that if someone asked about your pet goblin.
He got a free lunch. As they fed him the last of the egg sandwiches and someone got him a can of irn bru.

On coming home i found out he already knew how to use a toilet as he ran into the bathroom pulled his trousers and pants down, done his business, pulled them back up and flushed without me telling him what to do.
He must have an owner but who?
One odd thing. He thinks my kinder egg ninja turtles are goblins. Why? ???
Did i find one of Lord Fear's junior Goblin squad in Glasgow? ??? And what was he doing on his own? ???
Cedric kneed down close to my helmet so i could see him and told me.
"You're not witless. You're just nice. Too nice really for your own good. That's your main problem."

Fidjit
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1910
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 10:27 am
Location: Isle of Wight

Re: Goblins

Post by Fidjit » Mon Apr 18, 2016 12:04 pm

Are you role playing or something dude?? I'm very lost here :-/
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? :-/

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Baidu [Spider] and 4 guests