U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when...

For all the comedians out there.
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Emii
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U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when...

Post by Emii » Fri Nov 29, 2002 1:02 pm

> Gwendoline's crossbow has been upgraded to a laser beam

> Brother Mace wanders around looking dazed, saying "Hail Satan!"

> On meeting Lord Fear, he is drunk and offers to show you his little pet dragon

> Pickle has a university degree

> Treguard has shaved both his head and his beard

> You bump into Dorothy Gale and Toto in level 2 ("this is soooooo not Kansas")

> Gretel wanders in in a tracksuit, declaring she couldn't be bothered this morning

> Lissard turns vegetarian

> Smirkenorff gets eaten by Godzilla

> You come across Aesandre under a sun lamp in a bikini


...any others, guys?
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by rachelesque » Fri Nov 29, 2002 1:29 pm

hehe, i could use some of these in my next D&D campaign...
  • majida lives in a teapot instead of a bottle
  • someone puts in a 'DISMISS' spell for the dungeoneers to use for a laugh
  • the guys start wearing costumes that actually reveal their body (well you saw half the female's costumes and im not the first to say that we didnt get the same pleasure from the males)
  • the life force is replaced by a pie... oh wait...
dear mr tim child

you are a very nice man for bringing knightmare back but please, please don't use the pie life force, use the original one.

lots of love.

Rachel x

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by Dublex » Fri Nov 29, 2002 3:22 pm

> Lord Fear spends all his time trying to beat the PC Game Dungeon Keeper Dunegons and not going after the Dungeoneer

> Lord Fears Realm has been redecorated in pink pastel shades

> Treguard retires and the Dungeon Master from Dungeons and Dragons takes over
===

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by JamesA » Sat Nov 30, 2002 5:39 pm

BRILLIANT GUYS!!!!  ;D

Erm, Motley actually tells a joke that's funny?
I'm only joking about that of course  ;)
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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by JamesA » Sat Nov 30, 2002 6:25 pm

Or my personal favourite:

When a duneoneer restores his Life Force by putting a kebab in his knapsack  ;D
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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by Ark » Sat Nov 30, 2002 11:20 pm

*When Sylvester Hands appears in a clean, ironed tuxedo and greets you with "Hail to thee, young sir/ma'am! How may I be of service to you?"

*When a Gargoyle whistles the tune to "What a Wonderful Morning"

*When Lord Fear gains an intelligent and competant assistant.

*When the face in the Life Force clock suddenly says "Quit putting fruit in the knapsack! I'm getting the runs here!"
When you stare too long into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you...

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by Purgatory » Sun Dec 01, 2002 1:43 am

Dungeoneer now weres black shades in stread of his helm.
My life is an endless purgatory interruped by profound moments of misery

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by Kieran » Sun Dec 01, 2002 4:43 am

....A spell from Rothbery works

....Lord Fear says he has a soft spot for Barry, the Dungeoneer of s7

....Gibbet becomes the new Master of the Crown

....Lissard changes his diet from fish to breath mints

....Treguard regenerates into Tom Baker to becomes the new dungeon master

....Team One win....
'He's NOT a Dungeoneer, he's a VERY naughty boy!'

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by JamesA » Sun Dec 01, 2002 9:09 pm

....Team One win....
Or even Team Two or Three for that matter  ;D
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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by Emii » Mon Dec 02, 2002 1:17 pm

Wow, cool! I didn't expect so many replies! Ok...erm...

> Mrs Grimwald waltzes on screen with a bunny girl outfit on

>  Fear is seen through the eyeglass gloating - and holding a white fluffy kitten

> Mellisandre punches Motley

> Hands tells the dungeoneer he's too busy to deal with them - his new copy of 'Bio-chemists Weekly' just came through

> Smirkenorff tells the dungeoneer to "Go away and do not bother me again, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup"

> The Watchers enter the antechamber to hear a scream, and in time to see Treguard dive behind his chair wearing nothing but a towel saying "Ah! You're early! I've just got out of the shower!"
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by Emii » Mon Dec 02, 2002 1:43 pm

> Lord Fear starts using words like Tummy, Owie, Boo-boo, Fluffy, Puppy, Kitty, Pottie, Stinkie, Icky, Artsy fartsy, Cuddle...
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold » Tue Dec 03, 2002 9:36 pm

I couldn't resist this one.

> Brother Strange's book of proverbs is a No.1 Bestseller.
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold » Wed Dec 04, 2002 1:13 am

10 more:

> Majida starts complaining that everything's too easy.

> Mrs. Grimwold is accepted into the Royal Shakespeare Company.

> Julius Scaramonger gives all his profits to a charity for homeless orphans.

> Hordriss develops an inferiority complex.

> It was Sidriss who correctly diagnosed it, and who administers an effective magic treatment with no odd side effects.

> The weeping doors are on Prozac.

> Mogdred and Lord Fear are revealed as mere pawns of the real leader of the Opposition, Tommy Boyd.

> Treguard and Majida fall in love.

> In the middle of the Play Your Cards Right puzzle, Bruce Forsyth appears complete with annoying catchphrases, and his "dolly dealers" Malice and Morghanna.

> The Brollachan decides ignorance is bliss.
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by Emii » Wed Dec 04, 2002 5:26 pm

LOL! Nice one! Any more for any more?

> When you enter the antechamber you hear Treguard tell you he won't be a moment as you also hear something go *blip* "you have mail"

> You come across Smirkenorff playing dragon sized chess with the red dragon (I forget his name even though I only saw it a few days ago

> You overhear the following conversation...
Fear: Dungeoneer, my dear, won't you come in. Sit down, please. Have a spot of tea? And a scone?
Dungeoneer: Tea?....And a scone? You want me to have tea and scones? With you?
Fear: Yes, yes. You see, I've been thinking, and it's time we put this entire "do each other in" nonsense behind us and make a fresh start. What do you say?
Dungeoneer: Well....I have been wanting to learn Shakespeare. And I find your talent with magic remarkable....All right! Agreed.
Fear: Splendid. Splendid. So tell me, one lump or two. And do you prefer honey or jam with your scone?

> "Give it a rest, yer lordship! You've been obsessive-compulsive over this 'Dungeoneer' thing for what, like, nearly a decade?" - Hands

> "You know, I don't even like heights." - Smirkenorff

> "Oh, happy, happy, joy joy! Another beautiful dawn!" - Elita
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"

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Re: U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when

Post by Ark » Wed Dec 04, 2002 8:11 pm

You hear any of the following:

Folly - "Y'alright, me ol' mucka?"

Greystagg - "My sisters, we have gathered all the Amber we require. Now let the dinosaur cloning begin!"

Mogdred - "Quail intruder. Look upon the schedule of CITV for the late 90s and quail..."

Fear - "My Pool is playing up again. Damnation! Why oh why did I try to install Windows NT?"

Pickle - "Root and fen, root and fen, looks like a nice, safe, pleasant place with no danger at all. I think this team will win!"

Treguard - "Ooooh...lovely..."

Skarkill - "Heh heh heh-heh...nasty!"

Merlin - "Screw the rules. Here, have a KILL spell. And an OBLITERATE one too. Ah, what the hell? Have a couple of AGONISED-TORTUROUS-DEATH ones as well! Now get out there and kick Opposition ass!"

Cavernwight - "Excuse me, Dungeoneer, but is there a library nearby?"
When you stare too long into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you...

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